beautiful article. thanks for writing on this topic -- all the advice is really good and worth keeping in mind. the writer has written both the guy's and gal's perspectives (in the second part of the series) in an unbiased and superb way too.
Quite informative and covers just about all aspects that need to be looked into when finding a match, if one decides to go the arranged marriage route. Good work!!
I just read both the articles (both the bride and groom's perspectives) on arranged marriages and found them well written and very informative. Almost everything that is important is covered. It will indeed be very helpful for those going through the process. Thanks to the writer.
U people 'n ur modern world...... !! why is this topic only 'bout what men needs in a woman?when he knows he's ready to marry?what to ask the woman?what r his priorities?what shud' he look for in a WOMAN? Plz guide us 'bout what shud' women do when they feel like gettin' married? what 'bout: what kind of man wud' not accept gifts from my family? what kind of man wud' respect my parents as much he expects me to repect his? what kind of man wud' take care of my siblings as much as he wud' like me to take care of his sisters 'n brothers? what kind of man wud' share my sis's marriage burden as much as he wud' want me to share for his sis's weddin'? what kind of man wud' not be pissed off 'n question my character if 'am workin' in a male dominatin' job 'n I happen to have many male friends? what kind of man wud' not feel insecure if I tend to earn more than him 'n hold a higher rank than his? Next time may be do a little more research 'n include WOMEN whom the guys r suppose to get married!!may be next article "what women need in a man they wish to marry?" or "What shud' Women look for in a man whom they wish to marry?" wud' 'n cud' change my opinion 'bout ur ONE SIDED stor
RE: do u have nay guidlines from a WOMAN's point of view...........................??
by J ayess on Nov 06, 2006 12:08 AM
wow - what an enlighted person u r. So versed with your rights .... Just need a refresher course in 'duties'. Expecting to move in with your spouse - is your right but then for every thing else ...pay in equal terms becomes the rule. Follow the course society has given us ... not something which is decided by just one person in one day but the hard work/(thinking) of millions for millions hours ..so have faith in that and carry a positive attitude if at all you need to have an attitude. Society has fixed responsbilities about both partners and tried for ages and it worked for ages. Moreover, the girls have their own vooice .. and by all means they can chose to marry or not to and who to. But moving in with your spouse and staying like an alien in the home does not create a pleasant atmosphere and asking for a dime before you give a dime .. will be a big step towards unhealthy relationship. God bless you ...
yes, the WOMAN's point of view is there
by Anuj Awasthi on Nov 07, 2006 06:01 PM
check in the Get Ahead - Living section. u will find the bride's perspective listed there along with this one. the articles don't have links to each other - they are listed separately in the list. so the author is not one-sided but has in fact done a great job of giving unbiased perspectives for both the genders. both make for a great reading - now i know about the things girls look for too!
RE: do u have nay guidlines from a WOMAN's point of view...........................??
by Param is right on Nov 05, 2006 07:19 PM
Hey we all know that we can find any resources in the net.. but param is addressing this particular article which is titled "A modern guide to arranged marriages" and talks only abt the male.Howerever the links to the topic makes it clear that its abt men.. But the link is generally not created by the author of the article .So the auther is onesided.
RE: do u have nay guidlines from a WOMAN's point of view...........................??
by apoorva s. on Nov 07, 2006 06:08 PM
hi all, the woman's perspective is given in separate article at this url: http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2006/nov/02arrange.htm
RE: do u have nay guidlines from a WOMAN's point of view...........................??
by Charu on Nov 03, 2006 05:19 PM
PARAM SITES: If you had spent even half as much time browsing the articles as you spent in writing your long diatribe comment, you would have found the link for the woman's perspective RIGHT next to the link for this one. DUH!!!!!!
the present day marriages throw lot of expectations on both sides. the basic thing with regard to this human bondage is love and affection only and not money. the couple sufferings are mainly due to third party interference. there should not be too much expectations from both husband and wife on each other. it is natural that the culture, tradition and habits, interests may be different since they belong to different breeds. it is purely love which binds both the people. my suggestion to newly wed and going to wed couples, dont discuss anything with others and dont allow your happiness to get robbed by other influences. life is rosy and have mutual trust and dont have ego clashes. be flexible and life is wonderful.
i guess its a nice topic to discuss and i feel it has given me somekindda direction as i might opt for arranged marriage..moreover in arranged marriages its good to inform about ones virgnity also...so that either of the two shoud not feel guilty or offended later in their lives...but it depends on individual to disclose or not...
Its great to know about pre marriage. and I would like to ask one more question in my case I am staying in abroad working as a Design Engineer and looking for a bride but this coming April thinking to marriage and started looking bride but before finalising my bride I can not meet her but only possible is I can talk her in phone and chat with her. so in that case give me some tips how to ask and what to ask her?
RE:Tips before marriages
by PARAM SITES!! on Nov 03, 2006 12:15 AM
first of all "Learn some good English" No offense but now a days most of Indian women talk proper English 'n the No. of (proper) English speaking women is higher in India as compared to men who speak English(or better say try to murder English)
RE:View
by hi on Nov 11, 2006 01:20 AM
practically it will be difficult a situation but do not let this thing get into ur head for it will disturd the marital relationship. you might ofcourse ask her to share with certain expenses like home rent, monthly grceries or insurance etc stating practical reasons.you may open a joint account for that matter. however , whatever you do donot think much about this issue and dont try to overpush her for the same . tell her and wait for some time , she will agree. more u pester more will be trouble.
Guys.. Before getting married talk a lot and ensure whether your wouldbe will satisfy all your expectations.. For ex, i married an employed gilr and i was in assumption that she will give the salary so that running a family in bangalore will not be a problem..
But after marriage she refused to give the salary..so every month i depend on my parents to manage..Basically all the wifes will give the salary to the husband.. But nowadays its not happening.. This is an sample.. so its an gentle advice to bachelors who are getting married to an employed girl..
RE:Before getting married.. talk to her and then decide..
by Chaitanya on Nov 04, 2006 07:36 AM
Uren't jokin right....dude, grow up!!!anyway, do u get a salary???u sounded just like a parasite, doing nothing and depending on others!!!
RE:Before getting married.. talk to her and then decide..
by hi on Nov 12, 2006 11:26 AM
practically it will be difficult a situation but do not let this thing get into ur head for it will disturb the marital relationship. you might ofcourse ask her to share with certain expenses like home rent, monthly grceries or insurance etc stating practical reasons.you may open a joint account for that matter. however , whatever you do donot think much about this issue and dont try to overpush her for the same . tell her and wait for some time , she will agree. more u pester more will be trouble.
RE:Before getting married.. talk to her and then decide..
by PARAM SITES!! on Nov 03, 2006 12:09 AM
why do u want ur wife to give U her salary?? DO u give ur salary to her?? Instead of askin' her for her salary U shud' ask her to share the financial burdens.Ur approach is not acceptable.What do U mean by "my wife doesn't give me her salary 'n I have to depend on my parents?" "DO u ever hand ur salary to her?"
RE:Before getting married.. talk to her and then decide..
by Karthik on Nov 06, 2006 01:45 PM
You are right in what u are saying. You should have spoken about this to her before marriage instead of keeping on worrying about it. Many guys are expected to dish out for rent and other finacial burdens and there are women who dont feel that they also have to share the financial burden. Whether dependency on wife is good is a different matter. The topic here is understanding ur wife and guys with such requirements better ask the spouses before marriage.Let the spouse decide whether to kick him out or not...
