yes..i feel i am trapped in an emotionally abusive marriage though it was a love marriage..my spouse is slowly taking away all the things that i have always loved...he not only ill-treats me but also my family...we r both educated professionals, so i often wonder why he is doing this to me!!I sincerely agree that all the questions mentioned above are true in my case..am trying my best to regain my strength...but sadly am so alone in my battle and i cant share this with anybody from his family..even my family tends to ignore when i give them hints that am being emotionally abused..his family is worse, they are at his side!!!now i feel as if i am lost....please send me a solution...
Re: lonely and desparate
by pavithran nicholson on Feb 09, 2009 07:08 PM
The first thing is to pull up your stockings, get light on the foot, use a punching bag. Secondly, dont argue and fight - check if seriously improvements can be made, work towards it. Be a companion to ur partner, indulge him in intelligent conversation, update urself in his line of work and interest. Understand that he needs to drain his mind and if u can recharge his intelligentsia with serious and payback suggestions, hey baby u have made it to the top of his mind and u will stay there. Do it with a lot of humour. Do not frustrate urself. Every man needs a companion an intelligent companion. Answer to his taste buds.
Promise u it will be gr8. Dont think of leaving him. Implore, Explore, Exploit and Explode your supremacy over time.
RE:lonely and desparate
by salim lokhande on Apr 21, 2008 06:07 PM
it all depends on what is ur age rit now. if ur middle aged and donot have ur own sufficient earnings then u have a little choice of fighting head on with him. but if u hav sufficient funds and earnings u can afford to fight with him. first and foremost thing is u shud takeout / away all those things ( jewelry, deposits etc) which are yours, from him (slowly and tactically without making him aware) by being very nice and humble to him. once your belongings, cash etc is in your custody (and away from his house too) you can think of teaching him a lesson. i have gone thro such a situation in my life so i can advice u better. Take the help of ur college school / friends who are loyal to u in this case. Be very tactical in solving the problem. Don%u2019t take hurried decisions and always think / anticipate as to what can happen if the step u take boomerangs on u. this will make y play safe.
GIRLS SHOULD BR TAUGHT AT SCHOOL LEVEL OR COLLAGE LEVEL, TO FACE AND TAKE REMEDIAL MEASURE IN SUCH SITUATIONS IN LIFE..IT IS THEREFORE NECESSARY TO CHECK THE BACKGROUND AND ENVIOURMENT OF THE GROOM AND THE WHOLE FAMILY INSTEAD OF JUST CHECKING THE BANK BALANCE.FOR SUCH ABUSE THERE SHOULD BE CRYSTAL CLEAR LAWS LIKE IN USA TO HELP THE VICTIMS, and the punishment should be at par with criminal offence.
I am also finding myself in totally emotional abusive marriage. Infact ,have started to feel all negative consequences also . Have tried my best...TLC...now really exhausted . Why spouse do that?How it becomes so easy to hurt emotionally ?Not able to understand .
i m not sure if this ques suits to this article but i have seen couples wherein guy or girl gets their things done only by black-mailing emotionaly. they dont use any bad words or go physical but get things done by saying words like "u know i love u, i wont be doing anything wrong"... another example, "i m like that only, u know me, lets go please"... what would u consider this... is it a emotional abuse. and y i m saying this as abuse b'coz the other partner doesnot want to do that thing. he/she might have other plans, other things to do but they do for this "emotional black-mail" thing...
just to let u know, i m still single... its not my story :D
can someone please suggest what can be done if one is undergoing serious emotional abuse, the subject if wants to proceed legally against the abuser who should one approach??? please help - urgent!!!
Right from the time of Kaikeyi, women have been torturing men with emotional abuse. Stupid womencentric laws, which presume man to be villain and woman a paragon of virtue need to be changed. we need to promote family values and sense of duty amongst family especially woman. I have seen women who are jealous of success of husband and they wanted society to recognise them as more intelligent than their husbands. It is time to stop pampering women and girls and teach them their duties. Deepak Deshpande
Simon, do you think it is worth it to stay in a marriage with an abusive partner? Would not separation be better? Should a person compromise on his/her self esteem by staying on in such a relationship? Suffer daily humiliation, depression, neglect?
Would you have preferred that instead of advocating separation, Rediff had told victims to "keep quiet and take it" for the sake of saving a marriage?
a lot about how to deal with emotional abuse...but if the partner( abusive one) totally refuses to understand the situation and refuses to talk to anybody else (coucellor, another family member, etc) saying these things are to be between partners and not any third person and then sorts to physical abuse or more emotional abuse for bringing up the topic or for blaming him/her for the emotional abuse, making it intolerable for the victim....what then???
does our indian legal system consider this kind of abuse as an offensive one? a punishable act?
or it has to be sorted out within family and friends or the most a psychological councellor? which sometimes i believe isnt very effective.
Re: any legal action?
by vikram sundar on Jul 31, 2010 12:30 AM
is there any way of combating verbal abuse at work place,human resources dept is simply a puppet at management hands,they are least concerned about employees emotional well being is there any forum where i can address it
