It comes as a relief to hear of this organization. Marriage laws were made taking into account a very innocent, totally dependent woman living in a joint (in laws) family. But such situation no longer exists. Women are treated equally in every prospect of life and are no longer keen to remain as a house wife. In a democratic country, the current marriage laws have forced the institution of marriage under dictatorship, where all the laws are in the hands of dictator wife. May be by amending and giving equal rights to both life partners, it would inturn help to reduce the occurence of such cases, as then both will move cautiously and no one will have upper hand to suppress other and small issues will not be aggravated. Hope our film makers also start making movies on these issues rather than always showing women in a miserable condition, far from todays reality of a more westernised and liberlized woman.
Mr Karan Johar, please open your email account in rediff too! (Could any of his friend reading this article please convey this to him).
RE:Great effort
by karam Singh on Dec 30, 2003 09:51 PM
Its not a question of wheather the wife is a dependent, innocent and submissive character, rather its a question of humanity! There is no denying the fact that indeed women have been a subject to physical and mental torture by the men in our culture. Now that women know their rights because they are better educated and content, does not at all deprive them of their right to justice. But the matter of question is some few rare cases where thee rights are exploited by any sex, may it be male or female. Unfortunetely all Indian or I should state most indian men still believe that wife has to be that cow like innocent character and only then she deserves the rights and sympathy and all that! As a matter of fact till date many women are exploited even when they are educated enough simply because they UNDERSTAND what their rights are.
RE:Great effort
by Ishwar on Jan 01, 2004 10:23 PM
Yes this indeed is a great effort. But I can't see what the women being independent and liberalized has to do with it. Afterall we all want our own sisters and daughters to be so then why should we object when a wife is demending the rights of equity. Infact she has to be independent and liberalized to let everything come to a stable and fair deal.
I work in an MNC. Before marriage I had told my wife-to-be that because of the nature of my job I would have to be out on projects, business meetings etc. for 1-3 months at a stretch every year. Barely 9 months into our marriage she filed for divorce claiming I was harassing her for dowry. I earn Rs 27 lakh per year, why would I want more money from her? But nobody was willing to hear me. Rather than go through the extremely slow judiciary process and waste my time, I decided for an out of court agreement and paid her off. I have decided not to repeat this mistake again. I currently am in a live-in relationship with another woman and it is going on pretty well.
RE:Paid her off
by Bharati on Jan 02, 2004 06:45 PM
The rights for which the so called "independent" women are fighting for are the right to the husbands money . If they were so independent then why do they need the husbands money. If they were so independent how come they allowed the harrassment to reach 498A levels without filing for divorce. If they were so independent how come a harsh word becomes a harassment. No Karam you are wrong when you say that men want holy cows. Sorry they want an reall independent women not a money mongering woman masquerading as independent. Karam I don;t blame you you haven't seen the actual FIRs, charge sheets and documentary proofs. Let us belive the documents over the statements and not presume anything. The pity is that inspite of overwhelming documentary proofs the police is unwilling to prosecute false complaint. All it needs is some examples to be made of such women and the abuse will go down
How do you propose to punish the scoundrel mother-in-laws and other in-laws who by default assume that a duaghter-in-law exist only to service them and as a punching bag for all their psycho feelings??? It is not one or two of these cases but there has to be plenty more of these dowry cases and lot more husbands/mother-in-laws/sister-in-laws/brother-in-laws put in jail. Do you want women all over India rise in revolt and throw all you junk men in the sea???? If not, just accept justice and stop playing politics. Indian men should and will be made to go through the punishment for unleashing nonsense on their womenfolk. In fact, I even dare call them terrorists in one sense. Let there be more punishment for these men. I would even recommend death penalty for these in-laws !!!
RE:Don't you dare scrap dowry laws!!!
by bharati on Dec 26, 2003 04:48 PM
V it is not man versus women issue at all . The median age of victim of 498A is 60+. 40% of the 498A victims are women and well if you think as a daughter in law you are safe think again because as per 498A your mother in law could justifiably file a case against since you are relative of her husband.It might have happened.
Your efforts to help the innocent husbands are very much appreciated.Wish you all the genuine help form right kind of men and women. One question. How do you accertain the man who comes for help as genuine? Your job is difficult but worth persuing. My request to you is to help those who have high regard for the whole law. The victims should be truthful on all issues. The law to protect women is a good one and needs to be implemented wherever needed.If such laws are misused the foundations of our societies will crumble. As much as we should help the victimsed husbands we should be careful not create difficulties to the victimsed innocent women. It is one thing to help the innocent but we should also have good laws, and educate our socities about good marriages.
Even my uncle and his in-laws have faced the same kind of problem from his brother-in-law's in-laws. The funny thing is that he wasn't even close to the said accuser's family. This has resulted in many problems for my young cousins, one of whom had to drop a year for her matriculation. He was also suspended from his job. Things are a bit better now but the case drags on. Truth should win, not women.
Harassement of husbands is the tip of an iceberg! They are emotionally blackmailed by some women. It is right that not all women are holy cows and not all men are drunkards and bad!
We are worried to even have women staff or maids as they may hook up some stories! There was an incident where a qualified engineer who committed suicide in Tamil Nadu, just becos a minor girl hooked up some story with her mother and blackmailed her. The whole society stood behind her and he was thrown to jail. He came back home and hung himself leaving his family with no one! Later everyone came to know that he was innocent! But a life is gone! Look how some women are tarnishing the whole image of our Indian women!
I would like to convey my wishes to the founder of this organisation. They should have a website and we will be able to see that they would be flooded with complaints. We need to bring things our to the open so that the government and the judiciary find some solution to keep these bad folks at bay.
I've seen several of my acquaintances, and one very close friend, become a victim to this horrible trend. In my friend's case, the wife left a few months after marriage, and refused to come back for 3 years. Then, when my friend filed for a divorce on the grounds of desertion, she used this 498-A 'Brahmastra' on him, his parents, his 15-year old sister, his uncles, everyone she could think of... He is still fighting the case. The trens seems to be most prevalent in Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh, where the dowry laws are implemented strictly.
This law has given birth to many criminals like me. What do you expect a self-respecting guy to do when his innocent mother and sister are booked by the cops, under 498 A, on complaint of a greedy wife and her disgustingly shameless parents ? Are mothers, sisters and sister-in-laws of the guy not women ? Why take them to police custody andjail until their crime is proved ? Don't the judges know the sorry state of police stations and jails, especially for women ? What if their mothers and sisters were to be booked and kept in police stations and jail on false complaints of their wives and in-laws ? We are men and,thus, are expected to face the ordeals of life with bravery and courage. We are the stronger, read unfair, sex. So, do unto us what you will - harass, arrest, unemploy, beat, humiliatye, imprison, pay alimony, take our children away, make our existense miserable. But please, for God's Sake, spare our mothers, sisters and other ladies of our family ( and, elderly males, if you be so generous). Thanks Rediff. Thanks Murthy.
We see men coming forward with cases of apparent injustice towards men and raising a common voice be it in the name of setting up a help line(which in a way is a very healthy step) or sharing their comments (which agian is commendible)what is actually LACKING is the spirit to fight against unjust laws or misuse of power . this is evident because not a single voice has been raised against the supreme court judgement which held that ARREST of WOMEN can be made WITHOUT the presence of any FEMALE CONSTABLE at ANY TIME ie EVEN AFTER MIDNIGHT,inspite of the facts of rapes within lock ups and many other attrocities towards women known to us and to the honourable apex court. Infact men fighting against unjust laws is a ridiculous thing when we in urban india know that eunuchs have to travel by female compartments in trains because of the ill treatment to them by the so called men. thank you its was nice reading the comments.
