When its come to big events like marriage, especially a traditional guy like me who obey's his parents wish,I am always uncertain about my future wife and her personality.As an educated person I have my passions about my life and I am also expect certain qualities from my wife too.I thought I have to compromise myself to adequate my parents wish.Now I got an idea to choose my wife without hurting the people I nurture so much.Thank you for this article.Its a great remedy for a guy, who belongs to a orthodox family.
Love, the core principle of any relationship between individuals has been giving way to wealth everywhere in the world with least exceptions. This would ultimately deteriorate the human race being self destructive in nature.
Don’t let the parents get too friendly with your would be in laws or spread the word, until the boy and girl have seen each other and relationship is finalised. If too much mixing happens then boy and girl get under too much pressure to say “Yes” as rejection might create too much embarrassment for everyone.
Also girls may be shy or under more pressure from her parents to marry you, so its better for the male to take initiative and make sure that girl is not marrying you under pressure.
Most parents try to get the best deal for their children but some parents just look for their own convenience and benefit, so always reserve the right for final decision with you.
My parents and relatives were partying at home of my would be in laws frequently for long, before I got a chance to see my would be wife photo. So I think I was not having any choice other than agreeing, because disagreeing would have meant that I become the only villain of the story.
When I talked to my prospective wife for the first time, to make sure she is not under pressure to marry me, I talked a little bit like Jai talk to Mosi, about the marriage proposal of Veru in movie Sholay.
I gave some hints to my would be wife that I got some habits which can be easily ignored but can also be considered bad, like occasionally smoking or drinking beer. The point was that if she is unhappy, then she can make a mountain out of a mole and get excuses to reject me!
D. Goel pkl. afternoon 5.10pm Sunday , February 19, 2012. The truth isthat mostyoungIndianseven the oneswho arehaving urban settings and have professional openings at their feet are nottruly liberated ofthevariousinfirmities that belongto our medievalmindsets. We do notfeel safe makingan initiative, that could disappoint, andthefree-love may end up in utter break-up theuir sense of belonging to one's Roots. Accordingly, love and Marriage have not taken any very deep sympathy in lives pushedby mad rush of detailsand rat-Races. Weare very insecure to be ourselves, and wish to be spoon fed by our extended Families, who disapprove of free -love , even in urban metropolitan settings. D. Goel
Hi am planning to get married but my mother is feeling insecure. She thinks that once I'll get married she will have difficult time. So she has tried to postpone the married for two years now by giving different reason. Now under pressure, she is indirectly forcing me to get to get married to a village girls so that she will be comfortable with her. Secondly she want me to get married to a bad looking girl so that i'll not be less involved in her. She is not telling these things a front, but i have understood these thing from her behavior. She has already broken three of my proposals, where the girl i was ready to marry. I am not able to understanding what to do next.
Re: Mine is different story... need suggestion
by Khadus Khiladi on Feb 19, 2012 11:37 PM
Ignore your mother, she is a self centered woman. Even if you marry a girl of her choice after some time she will imagine and find faults with your wife. Don't feel guilty she has a psychological problem. Don't throw your life, she has lived her life, you live yours!
in India language, caste, community, religion, social class - all have to match. couples who step outside this ring have a hard time, esp their children. City life ok, not rural. Its rare chance find such a person on your own -better let parents do it
Re: less chance
by suresh mishra on Apr 16, 2014 10:09 AM
Yes, true. Certain matters parents decision is best on the long term. However if silly conditions should have come up like monetary considerations, then it should be resisted.
Re: India without hindooouuooos is pakiiiiiistan. India with hind
by BirdrsEye on Feb 19, 2012 12:16 PM
Do you know why no one pays attention to the article like this ?? also some hindoos write wrong article like this ?? becoz we are all divided by cast. Once a person who is hindoo, gets hurt by castizm, then he start writing/saying bad thing about hindooism. As almost every one in the cast ladder get humiliated some or other time except for brahmins, they all ignore about these articles. Only solution to save hindooism is to remove castizm. But the people from top ladder will definitely oppose it. And hence we know where we are heading. This has already happened in NE states of India, where hinddos are less than 10 percent now. Think about it.
