An un-arranged marriage is due to the process of meetings of a boy and a girl on regular basis. The arranged marriage provides the same opportunity after the marriage. One person made an observation that marriage is a process of shifting wealth from one place to another. Most of the parents of middle class family of today would have struggled to maintain their own life and then try to educate their children the best possible manner. A few would have before retirement managed to own a house or a flat. Living in a society marriage means a few lakhs expenses towards choultry, traditional rituals etc. Generally in arranged marriages two families will have some mutual understanding to meet these expenses and also to have a respected relationship. In a love marriage, if the boy is not strongminded, there is chance of his being removed away from his parents. Spend all your resources, educate him and get him married away? Is it not happening.
a pretty biased fairy tale view I must say ... arranged marriages are still so materialistic, and so fake. Why should I even consider meeting some who my parents considered (because he was the son/daughter of a family friend, and he was earning more than other suiters and she was prettier than other girls they looked at) Cummon give me a break dude ?
Re: biased view
by antipakanticongress on Feb 13, 2012 09:38 AM
I would say most of the love marriages are failure and physical attraction? Why cant you keep engagement for two years and know each other better?
Re: Re: biased view
by manickam ravi on Feb 13, 2012 09:52 AM
love ends in marriage is always a tragedy. because of change in choice and endless love when the guy or girl sees another lovable one switches over the earlier love. so let the people love but not marry.
Re: Re: biased view
by alok praveen on Feb 13, 2012 11:10 PM
Yeah that should be the case ... the moment you meets someone through arranged marriage there is alwayz pressure (obvious / hiddden) to close the deal ...why even engage...when you dont know each other ...why not keep options open to all types ! Relationships require a lot of things so it is for the two individuals how strongly they are able to manage .... I would rather divorce than live grudgingly for the rest of my life ! so its wrong to say only love marriages are failures...just because I chose the first option (the way out)
Re: Re: biased view
by alok praveen on Feb 13, 2012 11:10 PM
Yeah that should be the case ... the moment you meets someone through arranged marriage there is alwayz pressure (obvious / hiddden) to close the deal ...why even engage...when you dont know each other ...why not keep options open to all types ! Relationships require a lot of things so it is for the two individuals how strongly they are able to manage .... I would rather divorce than live grudgingly for the rest of my life ! so its wrong to say only love marriages are failures...just because I chose the first option (the way out)
Re: Re: Re: biased view
by Connan on Feb 14, 2012 05:21 AM
Most love marriages break up because the family of the girl or boy ends up being the reason for the breakup. Arranged marriages last long because the parents have a stake in keeping it going, but they are not necessarily happy. It is also some kind of monetary give and take involved there. fact is given a chance who would not go for a love marriage as love is nature's best design for a genetic match.
Re: Re: biased view
by shantanu visen on Feb 13, 2012 12:37 PM
I agree with Alok more but the what you r saying is also true as marriage, whether Love or arranged, never stick to their philosophy. Their are a lot of deviations for an ideal arranged marrige or a loved one, which gives rise to criticism and unhappy feelings. Bottomline, Hasband wife should stay happy after marriage irrespective of the format!!
Only in India we have arranged marriages. Time to move on people. Only in India we have caste systems. Only in India your mom or dad or your siblings will choose your life partner. Only in India we have dowry system. Only in India marriages are based on your religion, caste, how much money you make, or how much money your partner is bringing in are the only criteria for the marriage. Marriage is nothing but a compromise in life. Why not compromise with someone that you really love instead of compromising with someone who is arranged for you :) Cheers. Go and marry people from other countries :)
Re: Arranged marriage is a business and a compromise in life.
by sunny shan on Feb 13, 2012 05:20 PM
All marriages, either arranged or "unarranged/love" takes lots and lots of efforts to suceed. It is all about understanding each other, both partners and families too. And giving each other wide berth to enjoy each other's life. Remember all rivers flow into the sea. Any sort of relationship takes patience, care, hardwork and understanding to suceed. Live and let live. If you cannot be a good husband/wife or daughter-in-law/mother-in-law or sil/fil, just be a good human being everything else will fall into place eventually. enjoy!!!!
