Before asking people around you - what does it take a marriage to work? You first need to ask yourself why you want to get married or you got married.Was it Licence to Free mating oR spend quality time when u r back home from ur work Or enjoy Holidays weekends , parties , get together, family occasions Or is it something that was forced on u by parents , family ,society or is it something else.
I'm no marriage expert but from a bachelor point of view if you ask me then I think it takes lot to live in a relationship particularly given the Indian constraint that once married you have to be stick to your commitment for rest of your life, and this is what I think disturbs most people, they soon start to imbibe this feeling in themselves that their destiny , their choices , wishes and life is controlled, be it a girl or boy both have same feelings in moderm world. Best is give some space to your partner, let her/him think of their own and spend some good time all by themselves- all alone or with friends and once they get what they want, and when they will have the feel that no one is by their side even though institutionally they are married, they will pushed to decide what they want and what they missed in that lonesome hour they have spend with themselves or be with friends. For some it might take long to understand what they want and some might not even understand throughout their life...but its all in destiny and with yourself what u want from your life!!!
Before you open your mouth to accuse/abuse/put down your partner, just try saying the same thing to yourself. If you feel good about it, go ahead, else don't.
The answer to who should give up something of his/hers for the marriage to work is : Whoever has a better career which makes more money. As simple as that. If the wife has a better career, don't stop her.
Willingness to switch roles: The partner whose career is better has to completely switch over to that role and the other partner should assume the former's responsibilities fully. If the wife is doing well in her career, let her be the bread winner and the husband has to step down and take care of the children like the mother. Men should imbibe this quality in them, and do the duties of his wife without any self sympathy. Same goes for the wife.
Care a dam*n to what your relations say about you. Let them come to your home, let them enjoy your hospitality, but don't give them the rights to change your family's routine. No one has the right even parents.
Deep pocket is very necessary for a happy married life. If you can get her a nice car, good big house, diamond jewellary, overseas holiday trips, expansvie clothes etc then all problems will disappear by itself
Well my answer is straight and simple.. we emerged from those with the 5 senses as they call it and like it or not they follow nature better then we do.. though we think we have the 6th sense..
man and woman coming close to each other is as normal as they getting away from each other.
No matter how many books you right read and try to comprehend you will never have a WIN-WIN situation kind of answer..
To put in simple words.. there is no such thing called PERFECT in this world..
I earnestly request you to write to Sri. Sri. Rohininandan Swami, his email is rohini.nandana@yahoo.com.
You will be fortunate like us to get the spritual knowledge and understanding of marriage and how to lead our married life.
After that knowledge imparted by him it is guarateed that your life will turn to be extreamly happy.
This is in fact one of his missions and we will be soon starting a website also for the same. Please remain in touch so we can keep you posted on the same.
With best regards, Ananthanarayanan, ananthksiyer@yahoo.com
Before telling the secret of what it takes the marriage to work, let me first tell u what it takes to get married. Adn the answer is moeny. Its true even in arranged marriage. Now the answer to the first question is well, its 90% society pressure. at least in middle class families.
(1) Mutual respect (2) Money management (3) Surprise (like gift, cards, flowers etc) (4) Never bad mouth about in-laws, respect them. (5) Give each other some space, and trust
Re: marraige works???
by sweta shukla on Jul 28, 2009 04:40 PM
and the only way marraige works is by keeping ur mouth shut ............let the other partner blabber a lot........keep listening .....................untill ur partner gives up...............hey people patience and pretendence is the technique which works every where. c
Re: Learn to keep your mouth shut...
by Lucky B on Jul 28, 2009 10:56 PM
True. Your point will start another argument and its a loop. To put break in the loop stop arguing or giving some logic.
Re: Re: Learn to keep your mouth shut...
by Kalpana Natarajan on Jul 29, 2009 10:37 PM
THe main reason she complains and scolds is because you never open oyur mouth even when not in an argument.
Understand the reason why she screams and scolds. No woman is jobless enough to plan and scheme to scold you.
Its so easy to put the blame on the woman because she gets frustrated and vents it. Silence provokes anger. How would you feel if your boss keeps his mouth shut and treats you like a dog which is barking when you tell him your legitimate and genuine concerns?
