Women are naturally greedy by naure as men are impatient. Marry a women who is somewhat lesser in financial status. She will depend on you for financial securiy. Thats what has saved marriage through all the ages.
Re: How to save marriage
by p on Jul 26, 2009 06:56 AM
Your advice works for the male with a Big ego. Who thinks in his heart that the woman is never equal to him. He is always right in the relationship. So he can never really respect her. If you marry an insecure woman ,no support - or you cut off all her support. It will work till she finds something - self help or a child willing to help her and you will be alone in your older age.
Why does no body believe in LOVE? and i mean from mental point of view. If it was just respect or subservient many marriages will have fallen apart. The physical love and others is just one of the ingredients. Love is the biggest contributor. What is stated by some as respect is a part of love
Don't take me for MCP. The fact of the matter is women are stronger sex and women can create child man cannot. Similarly man's weakness is his sex drive which is far more than a woman's. A marriage is more needed for a man than a woman, so a man should be either having one or more cards up his sleeve when he is at the table of marriage playing with the woman or he should be able to go extra steps for the marriage to work. This is the picture in current times. So for example, if you are educated and have a good job and earning well, and can run the family all on yourself, then for the most peaceful, fulfilling marriage choose someone who is not working or not interested in working after marriage. But that choice must be made on her own preferably before marriage, not after and not by your choice. But if you feel you cant run it alone or you want to buy that extra car(s), extra house(s) etc etc, want to go aound ;) etc etc, you must be prepared to give more than your wife to the marriage. That is the bottomline. Sooner or later women being stronger sex will be able to assert themselves in the family , and you will lose ground. But if you have some cards up your sleeves then you can hold your ground. ( Holding your ground does not mean you have to oppose even legitimate and common sense useful decisions, but holdign your ground against meaningless or unfair decisions or potentially troublesome decisions of your wife). So to hold your ground against these things and assert,
Re: A man must have 1 extra card up his sleeve..
by kumar kn on Jul 24, 2009 07:20 PM
So to hold your ground against such unfair , meaningless or troublesome decisions , you need cards up your sleeve. Again you need to be fair and decide objectively. Ultimately do to others what u want others to do to you. But given all things equal, women will have an upper hand in any civil family.. So hold your special cards.. and have fun...
Re: Re: A man must have 1 extra card up his sleeve..
by kumar kn on Jul 24, 2009 07:28 PM
Of course people do talk about love , understanding , etc etc, But i am saying that even with all that... the above approach is needed in the beginning stages of marriage, possibly months, possibly years.. Then each one get used to other-- provided the balance has been maintained . So once each get used to other then they develop a strong bond, unbreakable, you can call it love too. But it is beyond love. Many people are not able to differentiate between love, sex and infatuation. We find many love marriages failign even after the fact that they had been seeing each other for years. So merely saying love will solve all problem wont work. It does not. (then peopel say "true love" must be there. but then who can define true love? ).. So have all that love affection etc either beofre marriage or after but... have those special cards up ur sleeve.. and you wont be lookign back....
Mutual Trust, respect for each other, Broad mindedness, giving of due weightage to each others feelings and satisfactory sex life make a marriage a happy married life.
In this century gals are foolish and totally dumb and just by getting a job and getting better education it is actually shutting down their brain function bcoz they know only how to mug up and run away from everything , atleast earlier generation women were more intelligent though they were least educated
There must be some homework to be done before the marriage itself. Those men taking dowry should realise that it lowers their character of the man in the eyes of a woman, whether she knows it or not. This would be a good start.
