Life will become a gamble when you expect things from people, so never go with any expectations. Your way of approach towards anyone in life should be dependent on how they approach you, and that matters to all, how much ever close you are with them, even in blood relationships. People has to learn to take it easy now, when the era of real love is over.., love has become momentary or comes with expectations, hence change yourselves to fit into this new era.. Welcome to the new age...! Yeah enjoy your V-day with the new realisation..
Re: Find ways to overcome..
by kohinamishra on Feb 11, 2009 02:30 PM
What even sharaf has written is true..I agree..pain starts only..when we expect from somebosy..no expectation no pain ....
What I can say frm my past exp of life is that.. Nothing is forever here.. whether its happiness or sorrow.. After a couple of days life becomes as usual as earlier.. Ya ,,I can be agree wth this.. we will never forget anything in life but remembering in that way is entirly different.. so my dear frds.. Dont worry if u r behaving like devdas n doing something wrong like smoking,drinking, going for girls or anything,,do anything which can please u.. n after sometimes u'll be back 2 ur original track,, so dont worry,, take it light,, Have a Happy life..
Dont we lose in other facets of life. you come second in a cycle race. You miss the best student medal by 2 marks. You go to stage and forget your lines. At the same time you clear the interview and land up with a good job. You try to cook a new dish and it turns out to be mindblowing. The point I m trying to make is success and failure are a part of life. Every success is a reward for your hard work and every failure is reminder of the lack of it and in some cases some other aspects beyond our control. So is it with Love. I didnt clear IIT-JEE with good ranks on my first attempt and I tried again. Next year I did better and good branch. Point is I moved on. However I dont know, our writers and our film-makers romanticize these notions to cloud our minds. Losing in a cycle race and coming from behind and winning it next year is heroic. But losing a girl and attempting to find love in another person is selfish and cheap. I think all these notions of Devdas is a load of sh*t. Those indulging in alcohol doing self pity are a bunch of losers who dont know how to tackle failure. And there is nothing heroic in being a shahrukh khan. God has given such a beautiful world with some many wonderful people, just because you cannot live with one doesnt mean you should shut the door to everyone else. And besides that there are so many other aspects of life to relish and enjoy other than love. Try cooking, gardening, social service, teaching etc..
Re: Whats all this fuss about love
by Ajit Pahuja on Feb 11, 2009 05:02 PM
Well Pratap, most of your content was o.k. but how can I see an IIT ian contradicting himself. You said that you didn't get a good branch and u found a better one next year. So how do u call losing a girl and finding a new one as selfish and cheap.
The fact is that any temporary solution to divert the pain and suffering is not advisable. Be it drinking, doing social service or any thing blah blah blah................
What is more important is see which activity can engage u more and for a greater period of time. That is the exact solution. For you it might be cooking, gardening, social service, for others it may be taking onto the spiritual path, for others it might be looking out for a new girl and finding his life partner in her.
What is wrong is that finding a new girl just to forget the previous one temporarily. The moment the new one goes, again the previous one haunts you. Then this thing is working just like alcohol albeit in a bit glorified way.
This is such a subjective issue that there is no one solution fits all concept applicable here. Every person has a different impact of a change in environment on him.
Re: Re: Whats all this fuss about love
by pratap tiwary on Feb 12, 2009 09:21 AM
Well Atil.. I had put in a satire.. I dont call losing a girl and finding a new girl as selfish.. I just wanted to make a point that treat this as just another failure in Life and don attached so much importance to it that you lose your own self, because success and failure is a part of life. The second point which you make about finding a new girl just to forget one temporarily is precisely the hypocrisy I am pointing to. I failed once in IIT-JEE but I wrote it again and I didnt do it overcome the grief of failure but to taste the joy of success. You lose your love once and you are seeking love again doesnt mean you are using it as a tool to overcome depression but because you still have faith in the goodness of Love and your own self to be able to give and share with another individual. Heard the david-goliath story.. When people told Goliath is too big a giant to hit David said Goliath is too big a giant to miss and beat him with one slingshot. Depends on how you see it- Love is too precious not to rue its loss or Love is too precious to have it missing forever.
Re: Re: Whats all this fuss about love
by Guest on Feb 11, 2009 09:16 PM
I agree with you ATIL, 4 years ago I was in the same situation , My Girl said no despite trying out SRK way of following her May be I was obsessive about her , I was down for 2 Full years, After that I went on with new freinds and new stuff, like I play online Games alot and work more than required, That has made me think about my GF less, the frequency became less, now I remember her only like once in a week and remaining time I am happy. I Needed to do this cos my Parents love me and I cant dissapoint them so I had to manage to search for an altenative and make myself happy , so that my parents looking at me are happy!!!
Spiritual way only helps if you enjoy it. if you dont enjoy being spiritual... it wont help trust me... so people who dont like being spiritual and go to ashrams,temples etc with your granny wont help you . its only by doing things which you like will help you( I can also mean going with your Granny)
so you need to keep yourself busy in things you like. thats the message I can give as I personally experienced it and Even SRK who lost his parents tells us the same thing tries to forget it by doing things which He likes ...Acting... and hes giving amazing performances.... Coz of it..
I heard a lot of sh*t earlier from religious people in above Mssgs... man You gottta be kidding to give advise when you didnt really go thru it and again make people confused with your Dogmas... it isnt wokring in majority of the peoples case. I am a living example,
After a few occurences I have become immune to breakups - part of the game - not meant to be - suck it up and move on. There are plenty of fish in the ocean.
we were in love for 8 years..we were more of friends than lovers since schooltime..but alas her parents didn't agree to our relationship..they forced her to marry someone else ..emotional blackmail..father being heartpatient..& she couldn't leave them for me..it was the lowest moment of my life..its been 3 months..i still find solace being alone with alochol...alcohol doesn't make it dramatic..it numbs your senses ..slows things down & brings relief..i know thiswill pass..but sometimes...lost love takes something out of you..yur never the same again..
Re: love...boon or curse..
by cheeni on Feb 11, 2009 03:21 PM
dont lose hope manoj, god must have planned something better for you, so give him time to mend things for you in life. Relax your true soulmate will find you - god bless!!!!!!!!
Re: love...boon or curse..
by Bernadette on Feb 11, 2009 12:25 PM
Dont worry- When God closes one door to happiness, he opens another one somewhere. Just that sometimes we look so long at the closed door that we fail to see he one that has been opened for us. All the best.
For years men have got the image of being the only ones who dump and fly away. But you see this message board and it will soon be filled with messages from men who became heartbroken and still thinking of her after years. Women never develop that level of feelings for anyone. Tell me one equivalent of Devdas among women in history. Only men will keep pining long after the fact, time to wake up people. Men must realize we are respected only based on our life achievements. Go ahead and achieve and women will come to you. If you run after them you are the loser.
Re: Female devdas?
by msbharati on Feb 11, 2009 02:40 PM
this was because there were only men writers in those days. women were uneducated and supressed and hence we find very little of the women's point of view till the more modern times!
Yes, I had the unexpected break up, that too my friend left without giving out the reaons. Thats the most horrible,depressing emotion I have ever had. Felt like surrendering to alchol like DevD. But after that I started seeing the world in a complete different veiw. Stared taking life slowly, enjoyed the small things, learnt value of friendship. But at the same time lost hope on existense of GOD. Now I have come back to normal,but still miss her, it has left an hole in my feelings and emotions. Yes, its fine, I started respecting my emotions, I dont curse myself nor GOD. I know I cannot change others feelings. At the end of each day, I still wonder the reason for our separation. What made her leave me. Now to talk with anyone else or telling my emotions I feel what if the person just goes off in one day and never return. Thats the scariest I can ever dream of. Understood that the most important thing in love is communication. And I am sure that I will again surrender to love but this time more sensibly and more responsibly and ofcourse with a person who can communicate. Happy valentines day. Last line to girls, please communicate your feelings, dont hide. hiding will take you nowhere.
Who so ever turns out to be a Dev D or behaves like him is the biggest Chu _ _ _YA. Simply put understand yaar the girl is not interested in you, thats it. A word of advice do leave your mark before the girl dumps you....
