Re: Daya Karke Shaadi MAT Karna
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 02:23 PM
who said in live-in relationships u can walk out when things dont work out. dont day dream. read the domestic violence act. the male live-in partner cannot leave the female live-in partner for "ANY" reason if the female partner does not wish to leave by her wish.
Certainly not correct for indian couples. As we have some strong believes which are logiclly correct. We have the hearts which knows how to love and how to share and how to manage. which the western people have very less. Western people live in give & take policy. We live in sharing policy. We believe in the morning after the night.
Re: incorrect
by Bhoot Pret on Apr 24, 2009 12:13 PM
Very true, Mahi. I agree with you. The article applies to Westerners. We Indians are different from them.
Re: love after marriage
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 12:07 PM
r u living in an ideal world? do u "plan" ur argument? "honey come lets fight! lets go to a lonely place and lets then fight"..fight starts because any one of the couple goes insane. the condition of which u are talking will never come. if both are sensible enough to "discuss" their problems, there can be no problem any time. but it seldom happens. in most problems, either of the two goes berserk and then the communication shuts down. and regarding the involvement of a third person, u r absolutely wrong. if any problem goes above the level, parents or friends should be involved lest the wife commits suicide and the husband is dumped for life because of this advice that we should not involve a third person. now dont preach "this is extreme"..yes but extremes do happen and IT CAN HAPPEN TO U..
Re: Re: love after marriage
by murali radhakrishnan on Apr 24, 2009 12:27 PM
my dear friend you have mistook my words. what I mean to say is if both are arguing or in your words fighting one should calm down and when the other gets cool, then the matter can be discussed personally among the two. One more I have said, give respect and take respect. which means husband and wife must respect each other. In many cases only the third party spoils the dish. Hope it is clear
Re: Re: Re: love after marriage
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 12:40 PM
i again say u r wrong and the third party should be involved if the matters get out of hands. see, i have a friend. he and his wife used to argue over small issues. the problem was that the younger sister of the husband was living with them. the wife used to pressurise the huaband to tell her to leave. the discussions were often "calm". it continued for over a month. one morning when the sister was out for college the argument started. the husband left for office and the wife committed suicide by hanging herself. the husbadn and the younger sis are in jail since last one year. the main point against them is "if there were any problems in the marriage why the parents were not involved". the magistrate refused to believe the argument that the parents were not involved coz he thought the third involvement will make the matters worse. it is of paramount importance that in case of serious disputes, the parents should be involved. they are not so-called "third parties". they care for u. in the above case the husband and sister are in jail becasue there were no witnesses that the cause of dispute was that the younger sister was living with them. the guy is now repenting for not telling any other person and getting him involved...
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: love after marriage
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 01:02 PM
see, the major problem occurs if u are accused of killing the wife for dowry (section 304b IPC) which was the case above. in this section the law assumes that the cause of murder (or suicide in 306) was dowry. it is the husband who has to prove that dowry was not the cause of argument. once this is established, the case will be dealt with under 302 which is far easier to fight than 304b...of course i m not saying we should think of crime all the time, i m just saying "DONT HIDE UR ARGUMENTS WITH WIFE. BRING IT TO THE NOTICE OF PARENTS. IF IT IS SORTED, OK. IF NOT, BRING THE LAW INTO PICTURE BEFORE THE LAW BRINGS U INTO THE PICTURE FOR THE CRIME U NEVER COMMITTED..."
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: love after marriage
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 12:56 PM
correct. but u dont need to be part of the contract to be a witness. any one witness who can authentically say "yes! dowry was no issue and the topic of their fight was ...". this will help in getting out on bail, if u know the criminal procedure.
Re: Re: Re: love after marriage
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 12:46 PM
these days it is a real big ordeal to fight a case if u are accused of crime against women. come to ur senses before u are trapped. i m not saying all wives are bad. but the moment u find something beyond normal wear and tear of married life, do get the parents of both sides involved lest something unbecoming happens to u. and as i wrote above nobody is immune to any unfortunate event. IT IS DIFFICULT TO COME OUT OF THE CLUTCHES OF LAW. SUICIDES DO HAPPEN. U CAN PAY THE PRICE OF THINKING THAT UR PARENTS WILL SPOIL "UR DISH"...
People get married to each other for selfish gains. And they call it love. That explains why wouldn't anybody marry a nice good hearted but jobless like me.
Re: Marriage is a business deal
by murali radhakrishnan on Apr 24, 2009 12:00 PM
without money what can you do. after frustation of life both will end up in divorce or sucide.
Re: Re: Marriage is a business deal
by Satish Sreikumar on Apr 24, 2009 12:13 PM
you are perfectly right. once the initial 'kick' post marriage is over and you enter the 'real' life, money plays a dominant role and in its absence, issues crop up leading to disasters.
Re: Re: Marriage is a business deal
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 12:11 PM
so gurpreet is right. marriage is business actually. trust it or not. it is total business. love has nothing to do with money. thats why it is said love is blind. if a girl loves gurpreet she will marry him irrespective of the fact that he is jobless. if she applied her mind before marrying him, she does not love him. she is doing a business, however invisible to anybody..
Re: Re: Re: Marriage is a business deal
by murali radhakrishnan on Apr 24, 2009 12:36 PM
dear krishna now a days girls are very clever than boys. As long as Gurpreet is not getting a job, I doubt any girl will propose him.
Re: Re: Re: Marriage is a business deal
by Mohit kumar on Apr 24, 2009 12:31 PM
One ruke in business says "look for profit." OK in that case ur wife should have left you immediately because there are thousands of people who are earning more than you. :-) but instead she is staying with you helping you and even supporting you in your lean times. I must say your wife " If not leaving you " is a bad businesswomen" . You should leave her instead. :-) . There is no place for bad investment in Business. You will be happy everafter :-)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Marriage is a business deal
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 02:08 PM
dear, after marriage it is not possible to leave. otherwise there would have been many women leaving the husband. and regarding your view that she is living with her husband despite other ppl earning more, at the time of marriage had those ppl agree to marry her, she would not have been the wife of the present husband in the first place. it is a fact that women look for money and later claim "i love u honey". men dont realise the fact that she is actually saying "i love ur money, honey"...
Re: Re: Re: Marriage is a business deal
by krishna tripathi on Apr 24, 2009 12:28 PM
agreed!! but then why shout "i love u honey"...?? it should be "i love u provided u take care of all my needs"..
Marriage is nothing but compromising ones own freedom to live by their habits, character, principles, dreams, fantasies etc.. This is the hidden fact that many couples fail to realise. And so is the frustration and loss of affection which sometimes leads to breakups
Before marriage we feel independent and pose as the most ideal person to our partner and pretend to be the best caring etc. After marriage when the burden of responsibilities comes on shoulders and we stop pretending to be the best and come into our own original self, the love created by the pre-marriage relation based on idealism and pretensions fizzles our after marriage. Hamaare panje nikal aate hain. sochte hain ab ye kahan jaayega/jaayegi and also feel fed up after sexual apetitite is satiated to some extent. That's the reality of life. We look forward to another extra-marital relation for supoort similar which we had in the pre-marriage days where you could share everything with your partner and now you cannot with your spouse. Life has some start naked truths and this is one of them.
