I have been married for five years. I have a rare record of having ABSOLUTELY NO problems with my in-laws. I have a husband who has moulded me emotionally.
There are three things which we follow. One we believe in expression rather clear communication.We accept other as they are. My inlaws follow a special policy of no negative discussion about individuals. My mother inlaw is a special lady who has really never been able to pick a quarrel with any one because she accepts people as they are. We delibrate on certain issues but are allowed to handle the way we will take all consequences. My father in law has always exhibited the rare tendency of EQUALITY visibly. He sees all humans as a person and not a bonded realtion. My Husband taught me to accept myself and work on my negativities by just being there. Im a person who believes work is involved inself to maintain all new relationship acquired.
Love is natural and unconditional because we are not interdependent but just happy we have each other. I hope all Indian girls will be so lucky soon. Thanks to my parents and my brother who built all this character in me and made me very happy for a life time.
by Joel & Carol on May 23, 2005 11:58 AM
Dear Sir, Tips on In-laws interfering in financial matters :
We need to understand that if parents interfere inappropriately with unsolicited advice it is mostly because they think they are helping.As a couple you need to resist such interference together in a kind but firm manner.
Step 1: It is important to work out together as a couple on certain boundaries.
Step 2: Show signals of your Oneness as a couple.This means refusing to take sides with the parents and standing up for our husband or wife.
Step 3: With a clear understanding between the two of you plan to meet the parents for a loving confrontation if necessary.This may be difficult at the start but would be worth while on the long run.
Always remember our In-laws are NOT out-laws but our parents !!!
How good do you mean if partners visit a clinical psychologist for counselling, if the couples on one side show hatredness and the other side dont respect each other,can a counseller serve them a solution..If at all how long will this work...
by Joel & Carol on May 25, 2005 10:46 AM
It would definitly work. A counsellor would be able to a) identify your root problem and will be able to give you guidance. b) see you both from a position you have not seen each other. C) give you tools to enhance you love & respect for each other. But you as a couple should invest time on your relationship and work at it. Keeping your marriage intact is a lot of hard work and it is worth it. Don't give up. Every marriage deserves a fair chance.