For three days, I have combed these message boards for filthy comments, I have taken the time to reply, to do something about some pests who pollute our thinking...Frankly I was geting tired, I missed my train twice in the evening, which meant I wasn't able to put food on the table for my kids in time those two nights, and I slept late and my eyes burned and my heart was heavy...This morning on my way to work in Manhattan I glanced at a Hindu temple from my train window somewhere near Secaucus New Jersey and I prayed for the light of God to help me as I was starting to question myself...
And then I read Amit's posts!! This one man has reinstated my belief in God, in goodness of humanity- this was all worth it!
For all the people who have lashed out or all those who have said what good is this going to do- well, this is my answer... Amit has taken the time to write- and he is a good man! Sometimes it takes good people to do nothing for a society to denigrate.. Lets not let that happen, we all must speak up - lets keep these posts clean, our thoughts clean! Please...
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by meena chandar on Jun 02, 2007 10:27 PM
you should be one of the jobless laid off desis in manhattan... ha ha.. you joker
RE:RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 04, 2007 08:03 PM
Meena, if you are a woman and a good human being (I hope!)and you have been following these message boards, you should have been moved to tears reading the comments about Shilpas mother being reduced to a street-whore! No one deserves to be written about in this way! If one cannot speak against a mother-figure being insulted, I wonder what kind of human that would be???
And no I am not jobless, I have been working since I was 16 and I was pursuing my education and my career simultaneously! which my dear requires a lot of dedication and effort! so don't you dare speak a word against my acheivements without knowing a single fact- you mindless monkey!
An independent, free-thinking woman is the best gift to society- so join us in our endeavors and make a difference insteading of simply sitting on the fence and blowing air for no apparent reason!
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by reema parashar on Jun 02, 2007 09:07 AM
Dear Khushnaz, this is just to tell you that you are not alone in feeling sickened by these message boards. Time and again I have seen Rediff allowing unmonitored filth to spew here. Be it young, well-brought men discussing the state of Aishwarya Rai's anatomy or expressing disgust over her marriage to a much younger, eligible man or discussing Shilpa Shetty's body parts or people taking every opportunity to spit out their prejudices against different castes, regions or certain celebrities, the language is always appalling, the level of vulgarity and hatred beyond anything that can be called civilised. Many times, I posted messages in reaction but then I figured, it works out just fine for a website to allow extreme viewpoints so that saner people will be forced to react and the cycle will go on. As a journalist, I use every opportunity to write about issues that anger me but after losing sleep over the filth in these message boards, I decided to not react but am writing now because your anger and pain should not go unvalidated. More power to you and please do not ever doubt your ability to change the world for the better. You are a mother and so am I and if we can raise children who respect all human-beings regardless of their dress code and skin colour and region and the God they pray to, we would have done our bit. God bless.
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Sameer Bhagwat on Jun 04, 2007 09:13 AM
reema,
It is the fundamental right of every citizen to express his or her views.As much as there are things which annoy you in print, they have a right to do so and you must respect that.If not, then you wouldn't have praised Khusnaz for writing that she respects Pamela Anderson, now according to your standards, is that filth? Is Shilpa's onstage act flith? We can raise our bar of social conduct or not have one at all and allow all kinds of filth. That's why I said earlier that just like people have a fundamental right to say what they want, so does Shilpa. But she should also be open to crtisisim as that is also a fundamental right. By being in the spotlight, they have what others perceive a moral obligation to be held to the highest standards and when they fall, they have to accept that they will be critisized, I can't accept the view here that every woman should be respected irespective of what they do? Do you expect me to respect a female teacher accused of raping a school boy, just because she is a female? Statistics say that 27% of abuses in the US are by women.So lets take the high road here and allow each person his or her opinion.
RE:RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 04, 2007 07:47 PM
Sameer- I really feel sorry for you as you have completely missed the point! Never ever condone criminal acts- men or women who commit crime do not deserve an iota of respect...
You address women as "filth"---thats an extremely derogatory term... "Frivolous" yes maybe but filthy no! that term should not be used for any human being - especially a woman!
Pamela Anderson is not a criminal- she does not go around issuing fatwas or killing innocent men, women, children...She maybe a prostitute, a sex-kitten watever, but she is not a bad human being, and neither is Shilpa... Unless you see this light, which you may never as you have been conditioned in a certain way- you will always carry a low-esteem for women in general...
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by samyrah on Jun 04, 2007 12:17 PM
Khuznaz,Amit and Reema, though i am a little younger, i can really see myself learning from ur'll.your words truly have a great impact and are full of wisdom and knowledge. It encourages me to raise my voice against people who have senseless opinions. Not forgetting NOTNICE(Got to learn how to comment hillariously..hehehe) Thank you.
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 04, 2007 09:20 PM
Very good Samyrah- young spirited girls like you are a blessing to society! As Reema rightfully pointed out, never doubt your ability to change the world- God has blessed us so- and we must make the best of it!
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 04, 2007 07:30 PM
Fabulous Reema, thanks for the kind words and encouragement- I am happy to meet you too on this message board!
RE:RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Chempromech on Jun 02, 2007 03:24 PM
Agreed with Khushnaz n Reema. Most of the ppl. used abusive languages. They abused to anyone. Mother, Sister, wife, actors, religion, region & even GOD is also a part of their jokes & filthy words. I feel very bad when someone use dirty lang. abt. their family members. Family members are the only, who are always with u in good & bad time & r very close to u. But this brainless ppl. (& heartless too) made always target to family members.
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by SriKrishna kalkura on Jun 02, 2007 04:57 PM
Hats of to you Reema Parashar who ever you are i am flattered by your English and your Ideology.You are exactly correct and i am happy that people still think the way you do.Once again Hat's off.
RE:RE:It was woth every single pain!
by SriKrishna kalkura on Jun 02, 2007 05:03 PM
Hat's off to you Reema Parashar.I am really flattered at your English and also to your Ideas.I totally agree with you.Also i feel proud when i read these kind of comments and it makes me believe that there are still Your Kind of people and so the World Exists.I liked every piece of line what you have mentioned and at the same time i am not that well versed like you in writting but what all i felt when i was reading was very much there when i read your comments.Hey you "You Made My Day".Once Again Hat's off for your beautiful words.
RE:It was woth every single pain!
by varun on Jun 02, 2007 10:15 PM
well its plain stupidness to miss valuable time with family!!wat u think ppl out here are gonna learn anything from ur emotional outbursts!! thats funny!
RE:RE:It was woth every single pain!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 04, 2007 07:39 PM
Dear Varun- never undermine the power of the pen my friend! If reasoning, intellect and writings don't move humanity, what else does? Terrorism, war, hatred?
My family time is extremely valuable but it would be selfish of me not to speak up if I see something wrong... If you believe that people are not going to learn anything then thats just your opinion, thankfully not shared by others, as you can see how many good people have come forard, right?- If you say that men & women can't use thier heads to think and understand- you are discrediting the human race which is blessed with the matchless power to analyse.. So my friend, don't sit back and do nothing, mobilise and write...
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Sameer Bhagwat on Jun 02, 2007 01:15 AM
Amit,
What makes you think that Indian men abuse and molest women? Who said that Indians don't respect women. Please don't make general sweeping statements. India is a country that elected Indra Gandhi to the highest office, years ago. America still doesn't have the gall to do it.Just because some people object to Shilpa represenating Indian culture it doesn't mean that they don't respect women. Respecting women and respecting all women are 2 different things. Everybody has reasons for not respecting certain women , would you respect Pamela Anderson? or should women respect a criminal like Salman Khan? The answer is No, there are as many filthy women as there are men- world over.
The question is not of respecting women, as this is not a womens liberation issue that is being discussed. So get you facts correct Amit.What people object to is a breakdown of culture in the society like men taking off their shirts on screen or women exposing their bare bosoms. Both are not part of our culture and should be objected to. And don't lecture us about individual choices.. ar eyou ok if I walk nude on the rad as its my choice? Each society draws a line for public behaviour and that line has to be maintained for man or women.
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 02, 2007 01:53 AM
Stop it already Sameer! This is not a womens lib issue, and no one here is saying that "all" Indian men are pyschos. In fact there are many men here on this website that are good and we encourage them. Sameer, I don't think you have read some of these posts that are not sparing even Shilpas mother!! If you want to pick and choose which women you want to respect- then you are wrong! Pamela Anderson is free to dress how she wants and still deserves respect! Salman Khan too for that matter... Sameer, let me just say this to you, women are not filthy- your mindset is- Your thinging is warped-Grow up!
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Amit on Jun 02, 2007 04:24 PM
Sameer, I understand what you have said. I really respect all those men who respect women and behave with them like a true gentlemen. I just wanted to bring everybody's attention to more serious issues of society than Shilpa wanting to represent India or any other celebrity trying to do something. I have been regularly reading the posts on rediff. I felt that people are very confidently commenting on culture, but at the same time, they are using abusive language and cricizing the celebrity like anything. I am not trying to support anybody, but my only concern is that the celebrity whom we are critizing is first and foremost, a human being. Each human being has a dark and a light side to him/her. Nobody is perfect. Coming to Shilpa, there are so may good things associated with the girl. Maintaining her cool in Big Brother, she first made out country proud by winning the show. If u would have seen Big Brother, u would have realized how cool and composed the lady was. She was looking the most civilized among all other people present there. Another thing is that she has the confidence and the courage to walk amomg all those firangs and represent the country. If given a chance to do that, I would surely not be able to do that. Thirdly, she was accused for the Richard Gere case. I do not support what had happened, but plz try to analyze the situation. What could she have done? Do u expect her to start abusing, kicking, and slapping Gere on the stage itself? Her facial expressions a
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by aarti on Jun 02, 2007 01:41 AM
Sameer, Do u know the statistics of crimes against women in India? How many rapes, assaults, beating, dowry and eve-teasing cases? 1 girl is raped every day in Delhi, please don't defend the wrong things. The answer is: Indian men molest and abuse women a lot, many of them r not even reported for family reasons.
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Sameer Bhagwat on Jun 02, 2007 05:56 AM
Do you know the statistics in America? 1 in 2 are born out of wedlock, women are beaten or even shot at, children bring guns to school, 1 in 3 children are abused. Is that better cluture? If Pamela Anderson is free to do what she wnats then why don't you apply that same logic to men i.e to do what they want? She makes porn movies and you think thats ok? Where will you stop in the name of freedom? I can't belive you can defend such actions based on freedom. What is the effect on children?
If you think every women deserves respect then there is something fundamentally wrong..or then please conclude that every man deserves respect also..
I can't believe that you can make a statement that every women deserves respect irrespective of what they do!!
According to your logic we should never critisize any women ever because they are women. Please grow up ,every women desrves crticisim as much as they deserve praise. They can't choose just one aspect. Don't demand respect just because you are born a women, EARN IT!!
RE:RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Amit on Jun 02, 2007 04:47 PM
Her facial expressions at that time showed that she didn't like the episode. Still, as she wants to make a career in Hollywood, she handled the situation politely and did not show any resentment. So what's so wrong if she is thinking seriously about her career and wants to gain popularity? Don't we sometimes politely take the scoldings of our peers and bosses at office so that we can maintain a good image in office? In the same way, everybody (all celebrities) need prosperity. What's so wrong with that? Why do u expect celebrities to behave like us, ordinary people? They have to be different because they are in the entertainment industry.
Some many actors make a show of their well-maintained mascular bodies, so why do we comment if actresses with well-toned, beautiful bodies expose on screen? When they are not on the screen and the sets, they obviously dress up like other people do. I am not supporting nudity, of course there has to be a limit for that as well for both actors and actresses. But, the only point I want to make here is that if u are criticizing an actress for it, u should also criticize actors who fall in the same category. And if u are not criticizing the actress, you are free not to criticize the actor as well. I agree with u that there SHOULD NOT be different standards for men and women, actors and actresses. But, we should always remember that we should respect a person for what he/she is, and not for what he/she wears. Maybe Shilpa is a good human.
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Sameer Bhagwat on Jun 02, 2007 09:03 PM
Amit,
I agree with your points. But I am not entiely convinced about Ms Shetty. Well she could have made a statement that the Gere episode was not in good stead, but even after the show she defended the episode. Not sure what to make of it. How she did on the show, is probably worth the parise. But lets treat the show for what it was a very average Relaity show with a bunch of no hopers like Jade Goody and Jermaine Jackson. First of all why did Shilpa participate in such a show, unless she was desparte as she had nothng else to do?. That said I have a problem with her makinga statement that she represents Indian culture, not that I am qualified to represent it any better. But I think using the word Indian and culture should not be used liberally by anyone in public. What will stop a Rakhi Sawnat from saying that she represents Indian culture in the future?
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Kiran Ivaturi on Jun 02, 2007 08:27 PM
Hi Amit, First of all let me congratulate you and others like reema and Khushnaz who took the pain to clean these message boards. we all feel the same and whole heartedly support you. what I am going to write next has nothing to do with your efforts. These people like shilpa shetty are from glamour world and they earn money and it is their livelyhood just like we do our jobs. If the media puts them down, then its the same media which also puts them in limelight..shilpa whom people said her career was over is now a celebrity thanks to media. She is not here to proclaim her sanctity and saying that she will not kiss or wear revealing clothes etc..and kissing richard gere or wearing revealing outfits in her movies and shows. People will be there who are paying money to watch all these and shipla and others should take these with a pinch of salt as it was her decision and no one forced her to be in this industry. If she is feeling bad, then she should not be taking money and be in the industry or be in media spotlight. She has earned enough money from big brother which she could never earn in her lifetime..enough said but this does not give people liberty to talk abt her family. I am not supporting people who talk abt her body but just presenting the other side of the coin which is the reality. songs like beedi or kajrare are famous bcoz of such revealing people and they only earn money. You cant say I dont want comments but I want to reveal and earn money. my 2 cents of opini
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by aarti on Jun 01, 2007 10:45 PM
May God bless u Amit, You have said what I've always felt. Thanks a lot. Mayb it would make others realize and think too........
RE:RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by varun on Jun 02, 2007 10:12 PM
Mr amit,i ahve been follwoing these boards.. sometimes i find it hilarious ! by the way wat is culture and wat is indian culture??i am reaally confused bat it? shilpa says she wants to spread indian culture? wats that??
RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by Khushnaz Etwara on Jun 01, 2007 11:11 PM
Hey Aarti- Amit is 50 years old! Don't worry I made the same mistake too :) I blessed him on the other post about Shilpa...
Goes to show truth and goodness are not monopolised by age, sex, nationality, religion, color, looks, identity, nothing- Only intellect, common-sense and rationalism can influence truth!
Aarti I want to thank you as well as notnice and samyrah as well - my "chamchas" as faceless would say :) Doesn't matter- don't be phased by any such accusations! We did very well here ladies--- Lets applaud ourselves one more time :)
RE:RE:Arre let's first analyze our culture!
by samyrah on Jun 04, 2007 10:14 AM
Yes all of us should be proud of ourselves for doin some good work of cleanin here.......
Essa Sait commented something on semi-nakedness%u2026 so my reply is that I have never seen any girl "semi naked" in real life! I have always seen them only on TV and films, and that too because they are in the film industry and it is a part of their job. Please don't combine the "real life" and "reel life". I know there is a lot of influence of TV on society, but please live in the real life only. What happens on the silver screen does not happen in day-to-day, normal life. I%u2019m a traveler and a mature person aged 50. I have traveled in all parts of India and abroad and have spoken to many people. I know that what happens in real life is very different from what happens in films. Films have to sell, so they just highly exaggerate and dramatize everything! So, guys, please grow up and be polite towards everybody%u2026everybody is just doing their job. There is no point of criticizing anybody. As far as Shilpa Shetty is concerned, whatever she is doing, at least she is not saying anything negative about our country. At least, she has the confidence to stand up for the country. Stop commenting on what she wears or does and support her because she is an Indian and requires most of the support from us, Indians.
As far as Shilpa Shetty is concerned, if film stars start living their lives like us, what would be the difference between our normal life and showbiz? They have to be like that because it's the demand of the film industry. We also do so many things to adjust ourselves with our jobs and work profile. If the culture of our office is such that we have to go wearing a particular type of uniform or outfit, we have to accept and follow that culture. Same is the case with people in the film industry. It's their job yaar. These people have to do what their directors tell them to do and what the script demands. If they don't follow their boss's (director's) instructions, they will not be able to stay in the industry. Same is true with any kind of job. If we also don't act according to what our job demands, we will be fired. So, plz stop accusing these people. They are in the showbiz. Don't expect them to live their lives like you and me do. They are just doing their work and so let them be at peace. Everybody wants appreciation for their work. So, plz look at the positive sides of their personality. At least Shilpa has the courage to represent India abroad and she has also been able to leave a positive mark there.
I have always seen around myself that even the most decently dressed girls, both in Indian and Western outfits, are also teased and molested. My sister is an extremely simple girl but she also faces so many problems while traveling in buses etc. I would like to add that only Indian outfits CANNOT be considered decent. Appropriate western outfits like long skirts, jeans, trousers, casual t-shirts are all decent clothing. You can even wear knee-length skirts or whatever u like if u stay in a good locality and don't have to travel by public transportation. But again, it is not justified that a girl should be teased even if she is not wearing a decent dress. Chahe to koi ladki kaise bhi kapde pehenke nikle, crimes like rape, eve teasing, molestation, and abuse can NEVER BE JUSTIFIED!! It's her right and choice and nobody has the right to trouble her! "Decency" and "Indecency" are all in our minds and the way we think...
First of all, men should learn to respect women. This is what our culture has taught us. So, before commenting on whether someone is cultured or not, we should check ourselves. Are we cultured enough to raise a finger against somebody else? Women not dressing correctly etc. is just a lame excuse given by men to defend themselves and their actions! Until and unless we fight against eve teasing, abuse, molestation, and crime against women, this society can never come out of this filth! We should take some severe action against all those men and boys who behave indecently and create problems for so many women! So, just stop accusing the wrong person and try to support, accept, and respect women. Most importantly, to make this country a safer place for our women, don't try to suppress them by deciding what they should wear and what not. This won't solve the problem because the problem is all there because of those sick-minded men and not in what a lady wears! Because these men have made life difficult for all the females, irrespective of what they wear and do. So, we just need to take action against these men who have made our society such an unfit place and who have created much trouble for us!
