Bhansali: dont you worry sir, we will shoot the entire movie only in that gigantic set we will have. Sony executive: Who will be the lead actor?
Bhansali: It will be Ranbir Kapoor.
Sony executive: Who the hell is this, is he the father of that Kareena.
Bhansali: No Sir, that's Randir Kapoor. This is Ranbir, son of Rishi Kapoor take a look at his picture.
Sony executive: Oh my lord, he looks like a ......God save this world from the torture of Kapoors! Can't we give him the role of hero's best buddy or something like that?
Bhansali: Sir actually his Dad has promised me to sponsor the super expensive chandeliers that I badly need for my set. Further I have already signed the contract. Sir as long as he can act better than Fardeen Khan......oh.... and people are already talking about his bum.
Sony executive: Are we taking a big risk with you?
Bhansali: Sir please trust me, this is my childhood dream. I have surpassed all my previous inspirations with this. This time I got inspired even with my original inspirations and with this inspiration of my earlier inspirations I will merge the inspiration from other Bollywood crap to get another inspiration to inspire Indians and possibly rest of the world. We will call it super inspiration or Sawariya if you like. It will be the next Oscar Winner (starts dreaming)
Sony executive: What about music, I understand its very important component of a Bollywood movie.
Sir I had it ready last year. See what I did was asked Monty Sharma to take inspiration from Veer Zaara. The way Veer Zaara stole its music from old tunes we tried to steal the classical tunes, Listen to this.
Sony executive: This is such a lengthy song.
Bhansali: No sir you heard 10 different songs with different tunes so far.
Sony executive: Well don't they all sound same? I am concerned.
Bhansali: Don't worry Sir, we will label them with different classical Ragas and no one will notice.
Sony executive: You know what....; I can't take you anymore..... go to my assistant he will do all the formalities. I gotta go now. I am going to inspire myself with a new inspiration to have the courage to go through your inspiration when it gets in theatre.
Scene 1: Shahrukh rings the bell at Farha s house.
Farha: Shahrukh .....at this time,.....you look so depressed!
Shahrukh: I am worried so much. See FarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHa ..... No matter how much I try, I can not change my monotonous style of acting. Nowadays even Kaan is complaining that I talk like a Bakri (baby Goat). I don't know how I will become a superstar.
Farha: Dont worry I am positive that your chak de will be a hit
Shahrukh: But there are so many hot chicks in that movie there will hardly be any spotlight on me.
Farha: Don't get depressed I will make a movie with you; it will be even more stupid than Main Hu Naa! We will torture Indians like never before. You have one months to get the six pack abs like Hrithik, okay?
Scene 2 SRK got his abs and the OSO shooting finished in no time. Shahrukh calls Farha on her personal cell.
Farha: Shahrukh I told you naa....Don't call me when I am on a holiday with my hubby.....whats the problem.
Shahrukh: FarrrrrrrrrrrrrrHa, FarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHa I saw the movie while Shirish was editing. I looks so horrible.....even the six pack abs can not save me now. My face looks like a baby of Michael Jackson and Shakeela.
And again I must admit that I sound like a baby goat. I was hoping to get some money with sale of audio CDs.....but the music sucks big time. I am going to cancel the check given to Vishal-Shekhar.
Farha: Listen, we can not change things now. Lets try to fix this mess we created. Lets do a grandiose publicity every place we can imagine. We wont spare even the bus carrying criminals to the court.....that bus will also have a cutout of you and Deepika. You also do every damn publicity stunt possible. Even if the movie breaks even we are saved.
Shahrukh: Amen. I will give you a new Mercrrrrrrrrrrrrredez (oops that's a publicity
a) John and Bipasha were very co-operative. b) They did not throw any tantrums. c) They happily posed for the photographs. d) They were very down to earth.
