The other day I met my pal John, of the Abraham fame. He seemed troubled and perplexed. A little prodding and he bared his worries to me. "Ulloo, tell me,which hot bod suits me?" Its twenty-nine years since my retirement and till date none had ever asked of me such an earth-moving question. I scratched my bearded chin and pondered the question. "Bips is busy smooching Latino footballers, Ash didnt invite me to her marriage." he wailed. "Kajol, Juhi, Mahima.. they're all are hitched." he groaned. "Deepika plays with cricketeers only. Sonam's dad scares me...", Johnny whimpered. "Stop!", I yelled and held up a hand to interrupt him. "Surely," I said sternly, " there are many many others." "Celina, Lara, Mallika... All these chicks are arrogant motor-mouths." he wailed, "How about Devika Rani, Fearless Nadia, Waheeda Rehman ?" I tried, recalling stars of my youth. "Ulloo, get real! Man!" he cried out. "What about Hema, Rekha, Sridevi, all those Southie Sizzlers?" I tried some more. "Ulloo, for God's sake, HELP ME, Man!!" he bawled out. A bulb lit up in my mind. "Johnny, I've got just the gal for you." I said confidently. Johnny's eyes lit up. "I could lend you my 93 year old girlfriend." I suggested generously. "She's a wild filly with sexy wrinkles. Her L'Oreale blackened curls run naughtily down her face. Her flirty smile through her sparkling white, false teeth will absolutely seduce you." "Tell me more!" said Johnny eagerly, giving me a vigourous
RE:my pal Johnny ...
by Phaltu Uloo on Dec 20, 2007 05:05 PM
"Tell me more!" said Johnny eagerly, giving me a vigourous, knuckle-cracking handshake. "She'd love to pillion-straddle a 1200cc Hayabussa and scream to the heavens as she rides into the winds." "" Bas! Bas! She's the right choice, baby!" He exclaimed gleefully. He leaped up,pumped air repeatedly with clenched fists, danced a jig, executed a couple of filmi Jhatkas. "Ulloo!", he exulted, "I knew I could depend on You". He gave me a couple of high-fives,hugged me tight and merrily jogged off. I watched his receding back, wondering why God naughtily packed so little grey matter into muscled studs, then rubbed my hands in glee as I looked forward to seducing my nagging GF's elder sister-a 96-year old nymph who, I hoped, would very soon set my bed on fire.
John is boring. John doesn't have the zing no more. He looks as if he'll burst into tears any moment. The slightly leaning head of his, I feel like smashing it. Bips don't need him, she's just hanging around with him for publicity, she's playing a ploy. By the way, my faithful street mongrel called tommy will look good with John.
RE:GOOD ACTRESS
by boyabouttown on Dec 20, 2007 03:31 PM
..will do vat? Play rugby with him, play carrom board with him or simple slap him for being so hot.. be specific man.
Consider it or not, Jhon will be a good match for Bipasa Basu. Whether he is friend or boy friend,or beloved...anything else he suits for Bipasa Basu. I want to see them paired for life long. All the best for them.
RE:RE:??
by boyabouttown on Dec 20, 2007 03:33 PM
no you are! Bhargav is talking about the yesteryears Jaya with todays john. You get the drift man, john with jaya when she was 18 years old. They'll make a perfect pair.
