1. "It is funny how they twist on the line to online. They fail to understand that being online means to be connected to the Internet."
It is not a twist of the phrase "on the line". The usage is a generalization of the term online to other the fields. Instead of saying "Please stay connected", people say "Please be online."
2. "Remember the time you used this phrase to describe a dirty joke?" "But what's a non-veg joke? Is it something edible?"
Going by your logic, what is a dirty joke? Is there some dirt in it? A non-veg joke is a joke that is not palatable. The usage is very apt in the Indian context as we very well understand that non-veg is not accepted by every one. We have to promote such idiomatic usages that are based on our own culture.
3. "We're so used to using per; no one knows where or when this word originated."
Please do some research before you make such bold statements. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=per The usage of per is perfectly acceptable.
4. "Where are you putting up?" "But that's the Indian way of asking people where they live or where they'll be staying."
The phrase "put up" is acceptable. http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/put-up
5. "The correct way of saying it would be last night and this morning."
There is nothing wrong with saying today morning. "Last night"
As "per" several studies conducted by various prestigious orgs, India will have MAXIMUM number of English speakers in the world in a few years from now.
And with that happening, the way it will be spoken in India will be the correct way.
As Per My Orders REDIFFERS Need A Two Months Course Because Their Non-Veg Engleeesh Is Very Heighted Everyday. Days Back, Yesterday Evening & Today Morning Also.
I Need Your Earliest Response. So Please Be Online & Reply To My Comment.
(My Name Starts With Alphabet ‘P’ & I Am Putting Up In GOA :)
As per http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (pun intended): The fact is that both per and as per have existed in English in the sense “according to” for a very long time–since the 15th and 16th centuries, respectively. The choice of which to use (or avoid) is entirely a matter of taste.
