Today"s young boys and girls want to get married with person/s of their choice.Academic qual or wealth or status of any family has no relevance when it comes to marriage and marrying a person of his/her choice. Some youngsters are enamoured by the looks/wealth of an individual.In elite class marriages do break due to ego/obstinate attitude/extra marital relationship etc.So to say we marry a person and not caste is not all that true as post marriage several hard realities of life are to be encountered.So inter caste/inter racial marriages often break due to difference in culture/food habits/customs and family values and tradition.Marriage is a big gamble of life.One may win or lose but the couple should be sincere and honest to one another.
you need to have understanding and patience and balance. there is not much of understanding before marriage as you will have other priorities too after marriage --work ,career and children. which ever marriage if partners are not mature enough it will break. in arranged marriage advantage is family will come into picture.In love marriage all you get an answer is you married as per your wish now face...
India is diverse with respect to Religion,Language and then Caste. Though it's about 2 people marrying, they depend on community and friends for circle as they move on.
Religion -- Huge cultural gap. You cannot mingle and settle into a family of other religion.Huge diversity in customs ,traditions and habits.children will have to opt for love marriage too :-)
Language -- differences across states in terms of traditions, practices and difficulty in communicate with family members and relatives. Children will face issues too.
Caste(same state): Difference in traditions and habits. Fmaily members of both sides will be totally unrelated as it's a different caste. Mayor may not be a major issues, but depends...
All in all India has been following this caste based marraige system so that partners can mingle easily and there is family support. Our ancestors havenot created this system with some thought and we are not following this blindly with out knowing the advantages of it. There will be some negative aspects but all in all it's about comfortability of 2 people to be together
In my life time of observations about relations, if i were to rate them according to to the truthfulness and depth of the relationships, the order will be as follows(Best to Worst) 1-Mother- son 2-Father-Daughter 3-Grandparents-GrandChildren 4-Friendship between a male and a female (only real friendship) 5-Friendship between Males (from schooldays to old age) 6-Teacher-Student 7-Husband -wife
The Western society , The South East Asian society , China ,Japan and Korea.... all marry as per their choice and love. Parental, societal,whatever oppositions are not into play.
Know that China's divorce rate is much lsser than India....so also Japan and Korea.
What you need is a good and loyal wife which in no way can be certified or guaranteed by parents or religion. Thats a risk which you take yourself and live with it. Incidentally, it also benefits you indirectly in case your marriage goes south-you can't blame your parents.
we marry for the society. to give a good progeny who can 1. carry on the traditions of the family - archana of the family diety 2. who will give a good name to the family 3. whose progeny will be in demand to be married to a good family which again respects its tradition. a progeny which does not respect its own family traditions cannot be expected to do good to the society. hence the father of the bride takes a great trouble to search for an ideal groom which comes from a good family to whom he gives away his daughter as kanyadaanam. outer appearances are temporary and deceptive. the boy too must seek his elders' permission ( especially his father's) and select a girl who can help him in achieving the last purushartha -moksham for which the first purushartha- dharmam must be followed. when we copy the western style of selecting girls this is what happens. its like eating idly with animal's blood.
