I lent Rs 5000 to a neighbor shopkeeper who lived next to my house in Bangalore. Since then i must have asked him 50 times to return it back. He makes excuses and says that he needs 10000 more. Till now i haven't seen a penny back.
Truth is the culture of repaying debt is not taken seriously in our country. People take money from you , never to return rather taking pride in duping others. Accepting charity seems to be a natural result of growing up among so many drifters.
We say 'he has lot of black-money' or ' he has no family to look after' or 'his parents are rich' and forget about the favor we received in our times of need.
I wrote second story on this topic. M has took my money and promised me to return the money but still waiting. After reading your comments I don't think I will get my money back so I have decided to take this matter further. Only reason I gave that money to him because he told me about his dad’s health. He was decent guy and never thought he can even think about taking someone’s money. His wife was cheater and I still think that she is not passing my messages to him. Even if he does not get message, he should contact me and explain his situation. In two years time, I have old received email from him twice. I have tried calling him but his phone off. he has removed account from Orkut and does not reply to my emails. I spoke to him three months ago and he said he will return my money. he said that he is in aden so can not make phone calls or email me. I don't believe that. one of his friend told me that he is working for TCS in kochi. I tried to get TCS's no from google but it does not work. I really do not want to hurt his family but he has left no choice. I am going to wait couple of more months and if he does not reply then I will create a webpage and post link here. From UK I can not contact him. I don't think I will get my money back but don't want others to go threw the same thing. Apart from creating webpage, let me know guys if you have any other ideas to contact him. I have his CV, with record of his schooling and past employe
This happened with me one and a half year back. She used to work at my head office at reception and we used to chat occasionally on the phone for an year. Though I had never met her in person but she sounded like a reasonable person. One fine day (Valentine day) I got a sms from her cell asking for 4000 bucks n if i can deposit it in her account. I asked if everything was ok (I knew she had some health problems or thought she wanted to give a surprise gift to her hubby). She said she would tell it later n it was urgent. So, I checked my accounts n to be on a safer side deposited 2000 bucks.
A week after I inquired n she was on a leave. Same next week. Month later I came to know she had left the organization. Her cell was constantly switched off. I still had little hope that she would call me sometime n return the amount. Months passed and no news from her side. Then I called up a senior person in accounts and asked for her address and narrated the incident and said I was waiting for her response and have given up on the wait. I didn't share this with any other colleague at head office because I thought it might bring bad name to her. Anyways, I later came to know she had duped almost everybody asking for amounts as low as 500 bucks and blew it on cosmetics and beauty parlors. Our company had to send a team to recover the laptops and other company property from her home and her husband was shocked and disappointed to know that.
I have many friends who lend me Rs.500, Rs.1000 now and then and do not even ask me back, I also never bother to repay them. Don't spoil them by publishing such nonsense articles.
Re: Simple...
by prem k on Aug 06, 2010 09:32 PM
well! i dont mind spending $20 to find the integrity of a man, but when it comes to $2000 or more, it becomes the problem
I had a friend , expired 2 years ago , who always used to say that if you want to get rid of a "friend" lend him money and he will disappear....so true , may your soul rest in peace buddy.
Re: This happens when you are Greedy
by afzp on Aug 06, 2010 09:47 PM
You guys are damn stupid and illogical.Probably u have lent someone money or never had the problem of retrieving it(Bad Debt).Friendship is the 1st trust for the author to lend the money and not greed.You feel terrible when the person who owe u money never shows up,returns call and just drags the time.Sometime they drag for years and still give u the impression that they will return u the money.This false impression is usually the silent killer or the person who is keeping on the blind faith
Re: This happens when you are Greedy
by Raj Reddy on Aug 05, 2010 06:42 PM
So earning a little bit extra on your money is the fault??
The real culprit is the friend who took the money and didn't even bother to call. That's bad. If he at least called and explained his situation it's better than totally ignoring the guy.
Re: Re: This happens when you are Greedy
by asad hgjkf on Aug 05, 2010 07:04 PM
It is not a fault, but u need to open up ur mind regarding where u are investing ur money in. A man who is nearing retirement, and needs money for his kids' marriage should never try to be the source of private equity for a company which is yet to establish itself.
Re: This happens when you are Greedy
by prem k on Aug 06, 2010 09:41 PM
That tells more about your character and upbringing. By the way, are you Tej or someone like Tej who has decieved another friend?
If you wanted to climb a moral pedestal by charging at the victim, I must say that you have miserably failed.
I never imagined that moral science is so difficult for some people that they cannot differentiate which one is a bigger evil - trust based greed versus plain vanilla morally slimy character.
Re: This happens when you are Greedy
by rahul deva on Aug 05, 2010 03:04 PM
I agree with Kabir!Greed is the first step to such losses!U Enjoyed his hospitality for free,that was bait!
Re: Shocking Experience Once
by rahul deva on Aug 05, 2010 03:06 PM
Same Case happened with me too at my previous Job,the guy always had 900-1000 bucks of mine and did it with two three more people too.Always took small amounts, returned them one week and borrowed the next week. BTW he was a bania
Re: Re: Shocking Experience Once
by Burkha Dutt on Aug 05, 2010 09:39 PM
Hi Rahul,
I am a Banya too and never took money from someone. ( ofcourse I am in job ). One thing for sure is if Banya has taken money from you the chances are that the money returned or more than anybody else. Again you are free to course Banya's I wont stop you
Re: Re: Re: Shocking Experience Once
by indianman on Aug 06, 2010 06:48 AM
Some Banyas will return a friend's money, some won't. Just like any other caste/community/religion. So let us stop attacking/defending communities, castes, religions, etc. The person's value system and his financial situation are the relevant factors, most of the time.
I lost a friend and job when I recommneded and broght him in because of him, despite being friends for 20 years and then being away for a few years. You never know how some people forget the sacret thing called ' Friendship' so easily.
I told no to one relative when he asked Rs. 1.5 lacs just to repay some of his debt, and now his complete family is my enemy. He as a successful hair of a successful business, which he ruined by disrespecting and wasting money on friends and relatives. I paid hi everything back twice but third time I could not afford to do so and lost him and his family. sad but I am happy for my decision.
The A freind who offered me a job becaume rudest and conspiring boss, hence I left the job instead of putting the friendship at jeopardy. He asked me 3 lacs on loan, I said no. and now I can smell the bad blood between us.
All this happed in last four years, I had to change 3 jobs and now whereever I go, the HR says there are faults with me thats why I am hopping jobs.
Re: How true
by asad hgjkf on Aug 05, 2010 07:07 PM
If these stories are all true, you seem to be flaunting ur "money". Don't show people that u have money to spare- U can always tell them u have avenues where u invest money/ or have loans to pay.
Re: How true
by shaukat parvez on Aug 05, 2010 03:49 PM
since you have not cheated anybody and you had no ulterior motives,therefore God will help you (Amen)
Re: How true
by Visharad Software on Aug 05, 2010 02:50 PM
Something similar happened with me but with relatives. I used to often give them money. They returned very small part of it. One time, I said no because I really could not afford that time. They forgot all the times I had given them and remember one time when I said no. They criticized me no end.
Re: Re: How true
by Karun Kak on Aug 09, 2010 05:52 PM
Teach them a lesson by asking them for money instead. Tell them you have given them so much money, now you are borrowing from them for some urgent requirement. If they refuse, then they have no right to criticize you.
Re: Re: How true
by shaukat parvez on Aug 05, 2010 03:58 PM
dear,they are selfish relatives,had only your money in their mind,so forget about them,go ahead in life,take care of yourself and your family
Re: Re: Re: How true
by Hari Iyer on Aug 05, 2010 08:26 PM
The fact about money was very well written by the Saint Adi Shankaracharya in the Bhaja Govidam song
When a friend asks to borrow money; one should always get an agreement in writing that the money is being borrowed and will be returned in stipulated time; The lender should transfer the money to borrowers bank account; At least one family member of borrower should know about this borrowing; If the fellow does not agree for these things better not lend; In case of lending to relatives, lend only the money which you can write off; other wise dont lend. While lending to siblings always be ready for write off; get your parents involved.
Re: lending money
by prem k on Aug 06, 2010 09:49 PM
If he is a good friend, you cannot take all these liberties. In my opinion, just lend as much to a friend that you can afford to lose without much heart-break
