Discussion Board

Don''t borrow, or lend, money to friends


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Bad Man
Need advise - A friend (female friend) of mine
by Bad Man on Aug 02, 2010 06:20 PM  | Hide replies

If a friend of mine(a gal in my office)has taken some money from me and unable to payback in time,can i ask her to repay it back through other means gradually ?
No offensive replies plzzz..


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Holiest Cow
Re: Need advise - A friend (female friend) of mine
by Holiest Cow on Aug 02, 2010 06:32 PM
Yes, like asking her to make breakfast for you, laundry your clothes, lunch and probably dinner thrown in. It might just be better knowing your plight to just marry her. That way your payback is bound to be gradual since there will be more leaks along the way!

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afzp
Re: Need advise - A friend (female friend) of mine
by afzp on Aug 06, 2010 10:17 PM
If she is willing to sleep with you its more than good.We can call it colleague-with-benefits

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myspace
Re: Need advise - A friend (female friend) of mine
by myspace on Aug 02, 2010 06:48 PM
I would suggest that, if she is unable to pay it all at once, she should be given an option to pay in installments. If your colleague is genuine, she would accept that offer. One suggestion here, do not lend money to people unless you understand their situation. If they are in dire straits, you should give a hand. If I borrowed money from someone I feel uncomfortable until I repay that person.

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iota
Re: Need advise - A friend (female friend) of mine
by iota on Aug 02, 2010 06:29 PM
Specify Other Means...

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Ekalavyan Acharyan
How to lend your money to your friend
by Ekalavyan Acharyan on Aug 02, 2010 06:13 PM

Rule 1. Never lend money to your friend. Why? Like article says it usually ends up breaking friendships. So unless you don't mind spending some money to lose a so-called friend, this is never a good idea.
Rule 2. BUT he asked anyway and there is no way to avoid him. Offer a small amount for a specific period of time. Small amount lower than what he wanted, why? usually he will try to find other means and go away. And even if he doesn't pay back, you have only lost a small amount. Specific period of time only.. why? this is very important, because after this he cannot ask you for more money.. you can always ask him to return the money he owes.. if you still give after that period, you are indeed a sucker!
Rule 3. He is your very good friend, money doesn't matter and you don't mind losing money to help out a friend in need. Then give him and forget about it. No specific time period, no limits... you are sure he is worth that. So, if your friend is really good, he will be there with you always if not financially.

There is no greater friend who can help like that. So cherish that friend, if you have one!

Rule 4: Now if you are borrowing money, always re-pay back on time, especially if he is rich. You might think he is rich and doesn't require that money, but it goes a long way on the trust factor. Moreover when you get into a bigger trouble, he will be willing to lend larger amount, because he knows you will make every effort to repay back on time!

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Thinker
Right...
by Thinker on Aug 02, 2010 06:06 PM  | Hide replies

Absolutely right...
Money is the biggest reason we loose some of our good friends...
Never ever let money come in between relations. Even if you have borrowed some money, even as small as Rs 50..do rem to return back or else you are in trouble of loosing a good friend.
Otherwise every thing may seem right and as earlier, the knot in the relation would be hard to open....be frank n be open in case of any delay....

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iota
Re: Right...
by iota on Aug 02, 2010 06:10 PM
Money itself is NOT the real reason.

Attaching unreasonably high importance to money is the main reason.

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Visharad Software
Re: Re: Right...
by Visharad Software on Aug 02, 2010 06:22 PM
@iota
Consider a scenario. Suppose your friend borrows 1 lakh rupees from you when your monthly income is much less than that. So the amount you have lent is quite huge for you. Still you give him because he says that he has some genuine problems. He promises you to return the money within a certain date. Several months to the due date pass by. You have to take care of not only yourself but some other people are also financially dependent on you. Meanwhile you yourself start facing financial problems. You go to your friend and ask for the money back. By now, he has enough money to return to you. But he does not. Rather he keeps on spending money in luxuries. How will you feel?

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iota
Re: Re: Re: Right...
by iota on Aug 02, 2010 06:26 PM
"By now, he has enough money to return to you."
This can ALMOST NEVER be verified.

"How will you feel?"
Will feel bad.

But a blanket NO to everyone - is a equally bad idea. Infact very bad. Use your common sense to lend something.

If I refused help to EVERY STRANGER i met, just because One of them might be a Cheat. The world will become a jungle.

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afzp
Re: Re: Re: Re: Right...
by afzp on Aug 06, 2010 10:27 PM
Hi Iota.
One day u will find urself chasing after the person whom borrowed some money for u.That day u'll realsie a blanet no would have solved a lots of headache on ur side.

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Visharad Software
Re: Re: Re: Re: Right...
by Visharad Software on Aug 02, 2010 06:38 PM
In some cases it is possible to verify if you know the person well and if you know that he has been spending money in various luxuries.
However I do agree that there are friends who are really poor and they genuinely need money. In that case it is perfectly OK to give them money and forget about it even they do not pay back.
But I am talking about those people who only know how to take and do not want to repay.

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iota
Practical Tips
by iota on Aug 02, 2010 06:03 PM  | Hide replies

1. If you are going to lend money. Lend it and Forget it.

2. If money causes damage in your relationship - believe me - it was NOT friendship in the first place.

3. If everyone becomes so cunning with money - the world will be a worse place. It is ok to help others, do it with a smile and forget it. Usually it is NOT A BIG DEAL.

4. More friendships, relations are LOST because of BAD WORDS than BAD DEEDS.

5. Money is ONLY a means to DO THINGS. It has No Other Value.

6. Inspite of your goodwill, you will be hurt by others sometimes. Its called Life, we can try to laugh about it.

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Visharad Software
Re: Practical Tips
by Visharad Software on Aug 02, 2010 06:15 PM
What you are saying is true if the amount is small. But some people borrow a very huge amount of money (sometimes as much as 1 lakh rupees) when your own income and bank balance are not huge. They promise that they will be able to return within a certain date, they are able to return but they will not because they do not want to return.

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iota
Re: Re: Practical Tips
by iota on Aug 02, 2010 06:28 PM
If we refused help to EVERY STRANGER i met, just because One of them might be a Cheat. The world will become a jungle.

And remember - I TOO AM A STRANGER to many.

Same thing applies to friends. Some will return, some will not. Taking a extreme position is going to be a bad decision.

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afzp
Re: Re: Practical Tips
by afzp on Aug 06, 2010 10:34 PM
Hi vishard software.Its no point educating this guy(iota).Probably as u have said he is talking about lending $5 and $10.

And also samji s also brought in a very good point.Never borrow to lend money.I am victim of tat too.3 yrs past till today my debtor can spin a very good story.

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samji s
Re: Re: Practical Tips
by samji s on Aug 02, 2010 06:58 PM
I would say over streach yourself while lending. You can help people well withing your limits. Please do not borrow and lend.

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THANGAVELU
The Lost $
by THANGAVELU on Aug 02, 2010 06:01 PM

It reminds me `The Lost $' Story. After lending $, he tries bring everytime $ into conversation, but the other person conveniently forgest $ to
be repaid.

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Amit Khatri
True
by Amit Khatri on Aug 02, 2010 05:57 PM

This is very much true. I lost one of my best friend whom I lent some money.

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mahesh thakur
How universally true
by mahesh thakur on Aug 02, 2010 05:52 PM

Thanks..

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Laker
Bottom line is ...
by Laker on Aug 02, 2010 05:47 PM

If your friend is a True friend, then you will not worry about getting your money back and at the same time your friend will ensure that he returns your money back.
Lend the money only to your best and good friend.

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Rajesh Kumar
Re: If a friend(a gal) of mine
by Rajesh Kumar on Aug 02, 2010 05:28 PM
Yes definitely through slapping for asking these kind of questions

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Praveen Aravamudhan
Re: If a friend(a gal) of mine
by Praveen Aravamudhan on Aug 02, 2010 06:02 PM
Yes. You can subtly ask her about the money. Tell her you have some financial needs and ask her about her position to repay the money. If she has genuine difficulties, you can ask her to repay the money in instalments . That would make it better for both of you.

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Bad Man
Re: Re: If a friend(a gal) of mine
by Bad Man on Aug 02, 2010 06:08 PM
she has some diffculties actually.she considers me a true friend..me too respect our friendship a lot.But she being fair and tall I want more from our friendship..but is it morally wrong to ask her to repay the money by compromising a bit ?

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ashu Dayal
Re: If a friend(a gal) of mine
by ashu Dayal on Aug 02, 2010 05:24 PM
Depends on the Amont of Money.Please dont do it for 50-100 Rs.

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Patriot
Re: If a friend(a gal) of mine
by Patriot on Aug 02, 2010 04:59 PM
if she agress to it.

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iota
Re: If a friend(a gal) of mine
by iota on Aug 02, 2010 06:09 PM
lol.. what exactly will you say to her?

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Visharad Software
It depends on whom you are giving
by Visharad Software on Aug 02, 2010 03:40 PM  | Hide replies

Some borrowers return money because they feel it is their duty to return. There are some who want to return, but they are not able to due to financial crisis. That is also fine. But there are many who will borrow money from you. They will be in a position to return your money but they will not. They will say things like "I am not running away with your money." They will keep on giving you some future date. You will have to run around them and beg them for your own money. Some borrowers even behave very offensively if you ask for your own money back. These are the kinds of borrowers who ruin the name of friendship.

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kishor  kumar
Re: It depends on whom you are giving
by kishor kumar on Aug 02, 2010 03:53 PM
If you lend money to ur friend, just forget it. If you get it back, think that you won a lottery. This is the mantra for a long lasting friendship

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Visharad Software
Re: Re: It depends on whom you are giving
by Visharad Software on Aug 02, 2010 03:57 PM
But sometimes it so happens that you lend quite a substantial amount to your friend. Later, due to some problems, you start facing some financial crisis. At that time you go to your friend and ask him to return the money. He is capable of returning and it has the agreed-upon date for returning the money is long overdue. He knows your problem. Still, he refuses to return. Then it becomes very difficult to tolerate and it is really painful.

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anp
Re: Re: Re: It depends on whom you are giving
by anp on Aug 02, 2010 04:04 PM
I agree with ur views , Visharad Software
If friends genuinely have some reason due to which he cannot repay me backk thats ok but when they don,t have any intention of returning money that person is not a friend

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