Myself and my wife are both working and have not faced problems regarding spending.
I take out Rs. 10,000 as cash for household expenses at the beginning of every month and keep at home. have a small register maintained and whoever takes the money has just to mention the amount and then sign against it. this is very useful when tallying the money at the end of the month.
Also my wife's salary remains untouched and is considered as an asset for meeting any unforeseen expenses.
Any big expenditure is also met from my salary only.
Re: nothing great
by Ju DiMello on Jun 24, 2009 09:24 AM
I would simply say - u have done good by choosing a spouse who agrees with you in this aspect. Even I know a lot of couples - plan the same, ie hubby's sal to meet most of expenses..and wife's salary should be saved.. but practically - always there is something or the other that turns up unexpectedly making them spend their "supposed" savings too !. It comes in form of EMI, or credit card bills or in many cases - just because the couple wish to spend - on something that catches their eye. In the same case - where hubby spends everything, I also know instances where wives are very possessive about their money and once they sense any expenses coming their way, they openly take it as threat to their independance. And I also know of guys - who spend their sal almost completely on credit card bills, emi - home / personal loans, friends, boozing and expect the wife to handle the home expenses completely ! Its important for everyone to be aware of all these things and plan their minds. If it happens naturally for the best, just be thankful. I would venture to say that you as a couple should work to maintain that understanding and trusting always.
I am like stunned seeing all the comments and the discussions.. I feel everyone is right based on their experiences. One thing I would agree with is : Be prepared to find a spouse suitable to your mindset - in way of treating parents, financial matters, and who believe in the institution of marriage and commitment. Try to adjust and accept and look for a spouse who is also ready to adjust and accept. Try to discuss out all things in open and arrive at a solution. I know one person cannot completely judge the character - of the guy or the girl in a few minutes (in an arranged marriage, the guy-girl are given only few mins to interact).. Get engaged for atleast 6 months before marriage and talk to each other daily, understand each others perspective and be frank in your communication. In case you find something terribly wrong in either mindset or completely unacceptable differences in your 'basic' expectations, then its better to drop your plan of marriage instead of going ahead.
Re: My
by Ju DiMello on Jun 19, 2009 10:05 AM
And please be aware of the marriage expenses as well. In india, still the girls foot the complete bill for the marriage and it amounts to a major chunk of parents' savings. After getting this girl married the parents almost live in a bare minimal and frugal way. In such cases, its okay for the couple to help the girls parents also. If you see, I mention "couple" instead of 'girl'. Think both parents are equally important and are the reason why the guy-girl exist in the first place. Plan the money (with whatever both earn), into chunks - like allocate amount for both parents(mandatory - 25%) allocate amount for your expenses (mandatory, comfort and luxury - 50%) and savings for your future and kids(mandatory - 25%). If the income is low, you should manage only mandatory expenses, if you are in middle income group - have some comfort and if you earn high salaries, go ahead with luxury part as well. Very good understanding and compatibility and basic trust is needed in each other to live happily. There should never be "me" and "you" but instead "us". Wife and Husband should stay / stand by each other against all odds - I know it does not happen now. But I can atleast wish right !
It's my job to get the moolah home and my wife is a home maker. We have a joint account and she's got a debit card.
I know how much she draws and she knows the same about me. Either one of us pays the bills depending upon our convenience and we spend, celebrate, vacation, save and invest together. Never had a problem...
Or Mantra - "IT'S SO SIMPLE TO BE HAPPY, SO DIFFICULT TO BE SIMPLE". Once you learn how to keep things simple, you will automatically be happy...
A mantra which applies to all walks and situations of life - family, religion, politics, you name it...
THIS DISCUSSION IS GOING NOWHERE.BRINGING US ALL BACK TO THE POINT, THE WIFE HAD DEBTS BEFORE MARRIAGE AND DID NOT INFORM HER HUSBAND RESULTING IN BASIC BREACH OF TRUST, WHICH IS AN IMPORTANT BRICK IN THE WALL OF MARRIAGE.HE HAD GOOD PLANS, BUYING A HOUSE ETC.BUT......... MARRIAGE, OR ACTUALLY LIFE IS FULL OF EQUATIONS.IN OUR LIFE WE HAVE DIFFERENT EQUATIONS WITH EVERYONE AROUND US AND IT DEPENDS LARGELY ON HOW WE MAINTAIN THEM.FOR Eg.THE HUSBAND IN THIS CASE MAY EITHER URGE HIS WIFE TO BE HONEST AND CONTINUE LIVING WITH HER OR, HIDE HIS FINANCIALS FROM HER AND NOT TRUST HER OR SIMPLY NOT INCLUDE HER IN ANY OF HIS PLANS AND TAKE AWAY HER FINANCIAL FREEDOM.DEPENDS WHICH EQUATION HE WANTS TO APPLY.I AM NOT TURNING SIMPLE LIFE INTO MATHS BUT ACTUALLY SUGGESTING A YARDSTICK TO ASSESS OUR RELATIONSHIPS.HOPE IT HELPS.
Marriage is a failed institution. We have evolved from Animals. We are animals. But the society has set some stupid rules for us to live a confined life. We can not live life kingsize.
Do animals marry ? don't they procreate ? Why marriages are required for procreation ? Ask any man, whether he is happy in marriage and 95 out of 100 will answer in negative. Howver, they can not come out of it, atleast in India. So many compulsions, push & pulls. Time has come to destroy this Institution of marriage. Binding human being with a single spouse and to remain with her/him forever is more than a torture in a prison.
This issue of money, priorities of spending it, saving for the future and for future generations will never arise. This is the time. People should realise Marriage is very much a failed Institution. In advanced countries, people marry & divorce. They they marry someone else and again divorce this goes on. They try to find their perfect soul mate where it can not be. Two souls are different having different views and ways and purposes of life. Binding them together collapses the purpose of life for each one. Marriage was created by Man. It is not created by GOD. Hence this institution can be dismantled.
Everything that man has created is hazardous. A car gives you pleasure for few days. But the carbon emission destroys the clean & pure atmosphere. Let us try to differentiate what is Man made and what is given by Nature(GOD and follow the Nature.
Re: Marriage is a failed Institution
by Neer on Jul 04, 2009 01:24 AM
Mandar wants to live like an Animal. Let him live. I beleive he is a pessimistic!!
Re: Marriage is a failed Institution
by asad hgjkf on Jun 18, 2009 06:01 PM
pro creating without marriage is a good idea. But who will take care of the child after (s)he is born? If the female mates with tens of guys, who will own the responsibility of the child?
Re: Re: Re: Marriage is a failed Institution
by Harish Bagga on Jun 20, 2009 10:43 AM
Dear's, Marriage is a real life Humans live but see the living conditions of the animals no one is taking their responsibilities. Have a better understanding from this Marriage-institution means live with flixibility & understanding between each other.Do not loose ur confidence like this. If discouraged than better not to marry but do not do like animals!!!!!!!!!!???????
Marriage itself is an evil. STay stingle, enjoy life and freedom. Why enjoy only a few years of freedom, enjoy the whole life. Its a trap set by society and religion and conditioning and life itself. Only way to live life is to live the way you want. Marriage kills that. Then you get into the trap of home loan, credit card loan, vehicle loan and all kinds of stupid payments, totally unnecessary. Then when kids come along, there's just no time for yourself, you are living for someone else. All this talk of man with the baggage and all that can evoke some emotions including sympathy. But its of no use. Intelligent are the ones who dont take any baggage at all
Re: Evil
by Guest on Jun 18, 2009 02:45 PM
Marriage is precious task.Man can live more happily after the marriage also, provided there is a mutual understanding & trust.Buying home,car ....etc it depends on your wants & comforts..People lived a happy life with out that after marriage.If children are baggage to life then I & you should not come to the world.
Re: Evil
by Harish Bagga on Jun 20, 2009 10:58 AM
Than meaning less life they live like a alone creature???????!!!!!!!! Live like educated humans with better understandings each other??????????
Re: Evil
by r pillai on Jun 23, 2009 01:24 PM
marriage is a commitment of friendship for life.come what may. it needs open minds and selflessness. affection,care and love are important ingredents. family welfare and well being are paramount.social and spiritual is important.no division of money or action plans. when it works it is bliss.
