cont msg.. celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in a couple of months, and looking forward to the happiest phase in our life. But I wish to state openly YES WE DID FACE ALL THE COMPLEXES, Social, family and personal Egos, Even my mother used to avoid staying with us but preferred to stay with my brother because here I was Not earning, and she had to depend on the DILs earning, BUT WE two did not let any issue affect our relationship as we respected each other for what we are. Yes I do consider myself lucky for getting such a wife, but sincerely ask her, she too will say she is lucky for having such a husband who respected her and did not shirk from house duties when the situation demanded. So friends the greatest blessings any family can get is MUTUAL LOVE, RESPECT BETW SPOUSES AND UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHERS AND FAMILY NEEDS. All other difficulties in this world can be surmounted if you can conquer your Ego%u2019s. Life is beautiful to be shared in joy and sorrow. With best wishes to all young couples for a long and happy married life. vasudevan erode
continuation of my earlier msg.. My wife stood by me all through and i slowly recovered my self confidence and health built a small house on my H Loan, Got promoted as Manager and after 2 years was transferred to a remote place where she did not have a branch, hence had to decide on job or family, since my health was always doubtful, resigned my job, and became an entrepreneur only because we were confident we could manage on her salary alone. Invested 35 lakhs of borrowed money on a Project which unfortunately failed because of totally unrelated unforeseeable international factors. Lost 20 lakhs, had to sell the House, Relocate the family and try new business opportunity without Capital. Managed for 8 years to keep the wolf at bay .But did not let our individual egos affect our relationship, Yes I had to be the homemaker, take care of our growing son, and do all household duties except cooking, in which too I helped to reduce her burden. Life took a turn soon, I got a good job in private export house ,Took Housing Loan from Her Bank as we could now afford the repayment, Built a Good House of our Dreams with Garden etc, all the while sharing all our earnings and duties. This investment has now appreciated 5 folds wiping all our earlier loses in business, Our son too finished his professional studies and has TODAY joined a Multinational company. We will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in a couple of months, and looking forward to the happiest phase in our life
Hi everybody,Read all the 58 msgs and replies,some are genuine expressions most of the msgs are fake.I want to share my lifes experiences,which even if it helps one couple get over their Ego or other problems,will justify my time spent writing this mail. I am 52 yrs old now my wife 50,brought up in a totally orthodox hindu joint family, During my college days i have seen my elder sister go to work,my aunties etc working and strugling,I thought and expressed my views to them No Women should be troubled by going to work voluntarily or otherwise, family life is more important, I will not allow my wife to undergo such hardship.This joint family setting was in Bombay in the early 70s,I too graduated took up job in a bank and became an officer,and when my turn to get married came at the age of 27,I realised how far my single income went,what all i wont be able to provide my family tomorrow on my single income of Rs1200/,so decided not to object to a working girl,and leave it to her and family situation ,Married a bank clerk,Three years later had a son, and unfortunately a minor accident resulting in severe back problems ,post surgery in 1986 remained paralised for some time, with even suicidal thoughts,It was my wifes job and her support which kept me going, Yes felt bad that she had to work, not because she earned more but because we were then dependent on her earning.Undervent another major back surgery with 6 disc replacements etc and a lot of complications,My wife stood by
There are many people who suffer. The girls who work in the office gossip about their family. They discuss how much their fiance are in their job of doing work for them at home.
They feel pride in getting things done for them and they do it because they feel they earn more.
Some of them do not have any voice at home.
They live like slaves.
The days are not too far wherein the husbands will better stay alone or live alone and girls moving here and there showing theirs and attracting every other man.
we Marride 5 yrs back , my wife is suffring from Bipolar personnalities as we are living alone she dominate me with her BPD, and mood swinging, and try to earn more then me by running Beauty parlour at home as i also want her to keep busy for not tourcher me. she regular try to compete me by more work and earn more. but this cost US (Both) as we are now living as just roommat , she has no time to prepair food and depends on tiffin center which lead Us helth loos . and not taking any part towards social life. so now my every Incriment make her more hard worker in bussines so that she try to stop me from extra earning activities and do extra work at Office by tracing my working hours, and the home / family is tottaly in back seat even she has no time to me, and also thinking to why waste 1 yr to concive so that she is regularly forcing me to adopt baby. if this is the earning then where will our society will go !!!!!!
These are days of double incomes and divided families.
What fits one does not fit another. Some husbands are happy seeing their wife earning more, many are not. Some compromise happily, the attitude of other do not allow.
The idea is to identify the areas which works out for both. But, this is easier said than done. When norms are changed, breakages happen.
Pressures of work, materialistic desires pave the way for divorces in today's world.
Tak time off, identify what you want and then proceed.
My wife was earning more than me. But we had no problem. The life is to some extent about money , but that is not everything. Relationship is understanding each other's feelings and get going. There is lot more between Husband and Wife than the Higher Salary.
There is nothing wrong in one's wife earning more than her husband. I have many of my friends(engieeres) who have chosen Jobs in Public sectors in eigites are getting salary less than their wife's , who have chosen teaching job at that time.All are living happily. But this situation may not be same for young IT guys marrying young IT girls, who gets more pay than theirs. In long run , there will be many ego problems and it is highly impossible to lead a peaceful life and bringing childrens as well. I have come across article saying that divorces in IT industry in bangalore is too high in recent times. Think , whether the purpose of marriage is for life or making more money ?
'Though' so far we have not gone through the situation like that, but i could say that there would be somekind of ego clash raises, may be its percent diferes for each individual but somepoint or other, this situation have to be seen "if wife earns more". It depends on mutual understanding, that how they will come up easily of these type of problems.
