This is a good article. My son is 3 yrs old.He is little adamant. He likes to spill things, no matter whatever it is. I have explained him many times, but still makes it. How to deal with him ??
100% sound advice. im 24 now (so childhood isnt such a distant memory) and feel the greatest gift my parents gave me n my sis was the freedom to make choices. they made the big decisions, but we could choose our clothes n toys n food n stuff. sure, we had differences of opinion. but then, we learnt to negotiate n compromise and find a solution that was acceptable to all.
now, both my sister n i are far more confident of the choices we make, even regarding careers, money, education..everything.
hey, concentrate on raising independent, practical minded kids...not stuffed sissies u spoilt cos u were too afraid to let them choose. for all u know, ur kid has more brains than u.
I am a mother of two young sons. Being a working woman, my sons have learnt to be independent. My husband is a busy medical practitioner. In no way, we brought up our sons to be under the shadow of their father's professional sucess or their mother's job status. Therefore in a way I think they have got an identity of their own. My elder son has just passed his engineering exams with flying colours and the younger one has decided that he wants to be neither a doctor or an engineer. What he wants to be he has still not decided. But both of us, his parents are confident that he will choose some profession of his liking and will succeed in his life
RE:Child's decision-making
by madhavi on Dec 13, 2006 03:11 PM
I have a four year old daughter who is very independent and loves to take decisions. When we create an environment for a child to decide, there is a lot of background work to do for adults.
For example, when it comes to dressing, what i do is segregate the clothes as what she can wear at home, what she can wear to school and what is for parties. In that group she can make a choice and i don't object. But sometimes i have to explain to her that the combination of blue trousers and red t-shirt doesn't look good. If she insists on it, let her wear it. Soon when she hears from someone, she will understand that she wore a wrong combination and correct it next time.
What is not acceptable to you as per weather conditions must be hidden from their sight. It saves the trouble of explaining why she cannot wear a sleeveless blouse to school when it is cold outside ( this becomes worse when we are in a rush to run to office )
Sir, Through out my life I found that the experience I got was not sufficient or suitable for taking a decision. I think I suffer because I was not able to take a correct decision even in studies,job,marriage,children,etc,etc. If my parents had given a chance to take decisions at the childhood perios, independently, I should have had a different life,which I am sure. If itis the case of myself whose parents were educated 50 years before what about the conditions of many of those uneducated parents?
my child is very slow. For doing a small task he takes considerable time. for instance, just to pack his school back he needs atleast half an hour - for taking his breakfast he takes about 40 minutes.. what to say about doing his home work.. in school also he is a bit slow. It is not that he is not intelligent. He is always on the top.. but he does not take interest in any work.. his cannot concentrate on any one task.. he always thinks of playing game.. cycling... making drawings.. etc.. He is not interested in studies at all.. despite this he always comes 2nd in his class. He is also very slow on uptake..
RE:Child problem
by Anila Sinha Sharma on Oct 16, 2006 12:23 PM
Dear Davender,
I am not an expert but a mother of two kids...and I really feel u r bothering about something that u shudn't bother so much about. If ur kid is intelligent ,and smart, and is at No2 in class, u should not worry so much. If he weren't interested in studies, he wudnt have been on top. It's just that he is a bit slow...and that an b corrected by giving him some encouragement in form of material things...Like if he does some work in 40 minutes, u can encourage him and say that we'll do this or buy a long pending thing if u are able to finish this is 30 minutes.Say something like.'" Let's see if can do this job earlier" rather than,"do ur work fast"....Dont make this(buying things) a habit, though...but yes, for some occassions, i know this is gonna work...
And yes, looks like ur child is more interested in doing outside activities....Encourage him for that...These days, it's not just about studies...it's about the overall personality of the child...Dont discourage him for the things that are not harming him in any way....U never know- there might b an artist hidden in him....
What is life without freedom. How to enjoy it is to be taught to chidren by preaching and practice. Set examples for following rules. This will inspire the children.
It was good to read this article. Actually, my experience shows that even kid as small as 14 months can decide on some things. My little 14 month old daughter at times chooses her own clothes she wants to wear and adament in deciding what she doesn't want to wear at all. Some times it is difficult as she mostly wants to go without any diapers and/or knickers!
