I should say it is nice article. I would say about my personal experience about it. I borrowed money from one of my cousins as i had to go to some place in India as i got job there. I went there and was there for 2 years and i forgot about the money i borrowred from him. One day i got a call when i was in Bangalore and he reminded me about the money i had taken to which i said that i had forgotten totally about it and will pay by next few days to his bank account. The money i had borowed was 13K. It is nice he was so warm in asking me after nearly 1-1/2 years after about the money. I owe to him as he helped me when i was needing money to start my job. Another instance is that i lended money to one of the friends and till date i have not recived the same. The money i had given to him was 3K and i think this is now more than 6 years and he is not ready to give me back money. When i first asked him about the money he started neglecting me and after that he disappered. Last year i saw him in CP, Delhi and asked him srtaight away for the money and he said what money whil money. Sice the money i had write off so it did not matter for me. Only problem was that i lost one of my friend.
I loved a woman n gave her money but in the end without me even know,she left n got married to a rich man in kolkata.I was devastated.Should i ask back my hard earned money?I did ask n she gave me alot of reasons that her husband does not know about us n will lost trust in her n he lost alot of money in business. What should i do?
When you are required to lend the money, give to the extent you can writr off only, but take firm commitment on how he pays back, when he pays back. Remind him on the scheduled date and time. The same way, when you take from some body, give a schedule with a grace period, pay without being asked. This will make him to lend you again when you ask.
You should always help you friend or relatives...when they are in miserable times. If the money lended by you is to be returned, it will surely return to you. If they ask for money, atleast you give them a 1/3 of the amount...this will keep your relationship good and also money lost will be less.
I do lend money. I think it is important in society, and particularly in countries like US. When you deposit money in the bank, they give you 1 %, but when you take a loan, they charge as much as 21 %. So, the banks are getting away with your money/ your friends money. So, when you have money to spare there is no fault in lending it to your friend for a reasonable interest, say 10 %. That way your friend does not have to pay 21 %, and you get interest on your money. Follow all the rules in the article, parrticularly, a loan agreement, and post dated checks, whereever possible. Dont go for a lumpsum repayment. Go for monthly payments. That way you will know when his financial position worsens, and be careful about getting your money back.
dear madam i happened to go through the article written by Rachna C on August 26, 2005 .
it was excellent article although it nver talked about the conflict resolution .
when some one asks money the conflict of : to say Yes when you want to say No arise "
on a more deeper level its the child state of the person who has the the power of giving money which comes into play .
the queer thing is that though he holds a parent stage , in this transaction considering his future transactions he takes a state of child and wants to please the borrower .
this leads to him / her lending the money and not asking for repayment an taking a mental conflict in return .
in my opinion its the disability to stand and say No
This tendency goes longway back in the child hood of the giver , which needs to be analyzed by the giver as even in other fields of life this weakness can be taken advantage of .
RE:good article but needs to probe deeper
by Radha Suresh on Aug 27, 2005 01:07 PM
Dear Mr. Anubhav Saxena,
As you have described saying Yes and No or states which develop. The one who says Yes can simply start saying No for a few days and when the understanding creeps in that a No essentially does not mean losing people or not being able to help Then a powerful NO will come from within. Why not try to help through other means rather thanlend Money, physically be there for help, Try to empower the other on a permanent solution and try to beleive that you are not the only source anyone is dependent on... They could have approached others too. So you have not let down somebody.
cheese,a terrifying article, most of the money that my friends owe me was beacuse i bailed them out from their credit cards and personal loans shit, its been very long and i am yet to recover anything back, all this while i am and still repaying my vehicle loan with interest. At times, i find it annoying and irriating seeing there are still no changes in their life style and for some absured reasons keeps on making the same mistake, how could one say no to a friend when he is in the verge of getting behind bars and lossing his job for the same reason, all you can do is advice him and then see him back to his usual ways couple of days later on. All of them are still my friends but i guess its beacuse i do not ask the money back. Go to do soemthing about this mess TODAY.. let me start with an e-mail.. maybe provide them with this link..
