Re: Convenient...
by Santa on Apr 16, 2012 04:23 PM
The kids that are born out of live-in relationship might be called as "throw-away" kids, another new term.
Live together is basically an exit door for both the parties. The word may sound exciting at first but if you go deep, you will find there is a shade of cheating each other and their offspring , should there be any. The feeling of guilt wont be there in such relationship hence such wierd approach of life. Sheer stupidity.
Re: Live and run
by Ashish Mukherjee on Apr 16, 2012 02:05 PM
People cheat even in marriage. Loyalty cannot be dictated by a marriage certificate, it is a personal thing. If people want to exit when they don't want to stay together, what is wrong in it? Marriage just forces people to be together more because of social stigma than people necessarily wanting to be together and divorces also take place. Hence, your argument is negated and irrational.
Re: Re: Live and run
by Gaurav Kumar on Apr 21, 2012 03:30 PM
Sir, I have been reading your comments and noticed that you lean towards exception rather than the rule. Let me explain something to you. Treat Marriage like an organization where you work. You need to work hard to secure your position in the company, however if your organization treats you unfairly you have the option to leave. Marriage is similar, you need to work hard to sustain it, there are compromises, sacrifices which needs to be made to make it work. At the same time if its an abusive marriage, law allows you to walk out of it in the form of a divorce and also ensures that you get your share of financial gains. Even society accepts divorce in such cases. Issue is people always get the wrong idea, divorce now is treated as an option for not working on their marriage. couples are simply not ready to accomodate each other and their parents. Half of the cases of divorces are due to irreconcilable differences. Abuse or violent marriage has a very less percentage. People advocating to Live-In belongs to the above category. They lack the patience, social skills and above all the will to change their lifestyle required to have a successful marriage. You also spoke about social stigma attached to the marriage; everybody has a right to opinions, society is nothing but a group of people with similar opinions whats wrong with it? Western society accepts live-in that is their opinion, will they live as per our norms..I don't thinks so
Re: Re: Silly article.
by Abhishek Mande on Apr 16, 2012 02:13 PM
You are right it is covering a social trend but why do you think is this a petty article?
Whenever Rediff cantfind any material of worth printing, they publish such garbage matters by adding some amount of masala. Rediff shall live upto its standard by publishing some good quality materials.
Re: Re: Living in relationships
by The Thinker on Apr 16, 2012 02:01 PM
You have said it very wisely. Rediff is publishing such shallow matters. They wont let me a even respond here. Cheap Publicity tricks.
While the writer is welcome to his opinions about the merits of live-in relationships, his understated insistence that unquestioning acceptance of such relationships must be the yardstick of our "socially opening up" amounts to arrogating the right to speak on behalf of the rest of Indian society and issue fatwas about what is progressiveness. To him, living-in between couples without matrimonial sanction may be a hallmark of progress, but one wonders who gave him the right to pass judgement on the rest of our society. Living in without marriage is neither 'natural' nor 'progress.' It is a mindless aping of the West and the results of such social breakdown can be seen all over the West. When the ultimate sufferers, i.e. kids born out of wedlock have to withstand the ravages of an uncaring society without the emotional support of a family (because they don't have one in the first place), you can bet these "progressives" will be nowhere on the scene to stand by them. Jaganniwas Iyer
Re: Fatwaism!
by Sunit Kumar on Apr 16, 2012 01:54 PM
Once again after long time, great write up. The language is fantastic. I also agree with your general concern. Kindly continue to write such blogs, you write really well.
Re: Fatwaism!
by Ashish Mukherjee on Apr 16, 2012 01:54 PM
Nonsense. There is really no difference between live-in and marriage except the legal validity of marriage and giving the kids an identity. if people don't have kids, there is nothing unnatural or wrong in living together without marriage. West may have its own set of problems but instead of pointing at their problems point a finger at your own problems first (I mean India's problems)
Re: Re: Fatwaism!
by d on Apr 16, 2012 05:58 PM
then whats the point?? why live-in when u can get married?? I understand that after break-up there wont be any legal complications of alimony and maintenance settlement...but that is the smallest problem in divorces, IMHO.
Certain class of Indians are realizing there is no point in marrying for the sake of pretensions. Most married people end up in affairs anyway and marriage doesn't prove anything about the kind of bond people share. It makes sense to try out an arrangement before formalizing it. Anyway, what is our problem with anything people do in their homes as long as they are not breaking the law?
Re: Change for the better
by waste cricket on Apr 16, 2012 02:12 PM
Most married people may end up in affairs may be in WB, not at least in down south...
Re: Re: Change for the better
by Ashish Mukherjee on Apr 16, 2012 02:20 PM
Whether that was a joke or a racist comment I dunno. Extra-marital affairs happen in every part of the world, less in some and more in some. My comment about affairs was based on some statistics published recently and not something random.
Re: Re: Re: Change for the better
by waste cricket on Apr 16, 2012 02:26 PM
Its fashion to brand every negative comment as racist now a days....
India is much better off than most of the western countries only bcos of familiy values and meaningful relationships...
So when you say 'most of the married people end up in affairs', please be sure to mention the geographies or communities so that it should be taken generally, applicable to all the Indians.....
Re: Re: Re: Re: Change for the better
by Ashish Mukherjee on Apr 16, 2012 02:50 PM
If you distinguish between South, East etc. then it is racist.
Please look at the social and economic parameters of India compared to West i.e level of violence, poverty, crime against women etc and then comment that India is better off.
I am not saying the comment is applicable to all Indians. No one can generalize like that but certainly many people end up like that and it happens in every part of India.
Live in relationship or Trail run relationship. Machines can be trial run, but, relationships...?This use and throw attitude comes from the care two hoods attitude towards the society because of their utter selfishness. Vinashakala vibaritha budhi.
