From the point of view of an outsider who is not deeply religious reading you message a few things are obvious. Firstly, just because someobody is asked to commit a heinous crime (such as betraying Jesus Christ), that does not mean that they would not deeply regret their actions, and forsake what they had been paid for the act, and even go so far to take their own life, for sealing the fate of somebody they cared for deeply. Secondly, the face that Jesus knew before hand of Judas and Peter's actions indicates further that Jesus did ask Judas to betray him. What beter way to know of it? Even after the supper Judas continued on his path because he had been asked by Jesus to do so. How could he forsake him? If a sane person knew they had been caught he would not have done it, for fear of persecution. He wouldn't have wasted time asking for money if he was filled with so much shame as to end his own life, therefore, the only thing that makes rational sense is that Judas was obliged by Jesus to commit this horrendous crime. What is so awful about the possibility that Judas is not an evil man, the bible doesn't need Judas for a bad guy, we already have Satan. Get over it.
